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Tag Archive for 'michelle obama'

When I Said I Thought FLOTUS Should Get A Stylist, I Didn’t Mean Madonna’s…

Having an almost two-week old in my house has made the word nipple a top one on the usage list these days. So, you can only imagine my horror when I went out to Politico’s website last night to browse the latest political hoopla, and I saw what I never thought I’d see in a gazillion years: FLOTUS nipplage.

Yes, I said FLOTUS nipplage, people. The article was about her appearance on the Huckabee show, in addition to her anti-childhood-obesity campaign. But the picture Politico included with the article is what made me want to wash my eyes out with something sharp and/or toxic:

Are you seeing this? I mean, I was trying very hard to read about the whole interview/obesity thing, but can you not see what I’m talking about here?

For crying out loud, you’re the FLOTUS. Cover them up, woman. Or at least ask Secret Service to turn the heat up in the room. Inappropriate.

FLOTUS Takes On Fat

I loved this Human Events article I read this morning about Michelle Obama’s new crusade against obesity. The author – I can relate to her. She sort of had me at hello, really, as her first paragraph read as follows:

I read in a Reuters news article that Michelle Obama has taken on obesity as a cause. Which I think pairs nicely with her “saving-the-world-one-out-of-work-corporate-lawyer-turned- organic-hippy-farmer-at-a-time” agenda she had last summer. And why shouldn’t the two causes work well together? Veggies have been known to cure fatness, and the world can always use one less lawyer. It’s a win-win.”

This chick and I need to be friends immediately, but that’s neither here nor there.

I’ve been a size 0, a size 8 and everywhere in between, and I’m currently the size of a “tractor-trailer,” as I’m at the final stage of growing a human being in my body at the present moment. What I’ve learned most of all in the weight game is that it’s so not about what the government can mandate for me, what Michelle Obama TELLS me to eat or not eat – it’s me deciding, day by day, meal by meal, whether or not I’m going to stick that brownie in my piehole. And whether I CHOOSE to get off my keester and go for a run. It’s a PERSONAL decision. And, it’s not something that the government – or my fellow taxpayers – should have to pay for.

You know how Obama and friends are always talking about finding savings in various programs to pay for that monstrosity of a healthcare bill? Well, “a reported $650 million in stimulus spending has gone towards the prevention of smoking and obesity.” Um, there’s a big chunk right there, geniuses. What in the holy hell is wrong with our country when we’ve all lost that sense of personal responsibility to the point where we can’t put down the KFC and keep a damn cigarette out of our mouth? This has somehow become the government’s problem? Our collective problem? What are we teaching our kids if we spout this idea that, well, you can just shove any crap into your mouth, smoke like a chimney, drink like a fish, and abuse your body with all sorts of substances, and you know what? That’s someone else’s problem. Yeah.

It’s just an extension of the whole “not my fault!” philosophy that we see waaaaay too much of these days – in every facet of American life. It’s what’s gotten us into the economic trouble we’re in right now, frankly.

Here’s a newsflash: THIS IS AMERICA. NO ONE OWES YOU ANYTHING.

Or is it?

The author goes on to say this:
Consider this for a moment; the U.S. government currently doles out about $150 billion a year to pay for complications related to obesity. That is taxpayer money going towards a problem that is almost entirely self-induced. We’ve got the Obama administration telling our military to pick and chose which life-saving weapons programs to give our warfighters because we don’t have the money and yet, people with Frito intake issues are getting hundreds of billions of dollars a year for insulin shots and wound debridement. That’s wrong.

Wrong indeed.

And then there’s the Health and Human Services Secretary under Obama who spews, “The unhealthier we are as a nation, the more our health care costs will continue to rise and the less competitive we will be globally.” Um, riiiiight. Our lack of global competitiveness lies directly on the fat laps of obese Americans. You just keep on telling yourselves that, Obama administration.

The notion that the government can solve someone’s fatness is laughable. I mean, just look at Michael Moore and how well it’s all worked out for him – and that dude LOVES the whole government-controlling-every-facet-of-his-life idea. Michelle just needs to stick to what she knows best – billing out for her legal services at a ridiculous rate and buying overpriced organic food. The rest of us shmucks can and should be able to take care of ourselves. Just a thought. And there’s 650 million of spendiddlydimulus taxpayer money saved. Oila.

To save another 650 million? Take RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF and put the Chips Ahoy bag down. How’s that for Monday morning reform?

OPEN SOTU THREAD

7:30pm:  Ok – I’m going to watch it.  I can’t help myself.  And I’ve decided that I’m going to live update this post as it’s happening, and you guys can use the comments section to throw in your own commentary as well.  We will all suffer through this together, me with my laptop and you all with your bingo cards.  :)

More updates to come.  Jump in!!

Continue reading ‘OPEN SOTU THREAD’

You Know You Suck When You’re Sending Chachi Death Threats…

Scott Baio is getting death threats for posting an “unflattering picture” of Michelle Obama on his Twitter page.

Here’s the “unflattering picture:”

(All death threats to me should be sent directly to the Daisy email on the right pane. Please refrain from sending death threats to Mock. Thank you.)

From Gateway Pundit yesterday morning:

Former “Happy Days” star Scott Baio claims he has been barraged with death threats and accused of being a racist after posting an unflattering photo of Michelle Obama on Twitter along with the caption “WOW He wakes up to this every morning.”

Outraged users reportedly responded with angry Tweets such as “Scott Baio should be PUT DOWN and someone will PUT YOU DOWN.YOU; your WIFE and KID.” Another Tweeter even went as far as to alter an image of Baio’s young child with the caption “this is what Scott Baio wakes up [to].” That photo has since been removed.

Nice, huh?

And it’s all because he supported Scott Brown openly. Because, let’s face it, if you live in Hollyweird, you’re not supposed to BE conservative.

The actor was also quick to defend himself from accusations that he was racist.

“I’m NOT racist for posting a pic of M.O. My WIFE’S BEST FRD IS BLACK, HELLO,” he Tweeted. “If YOU are born in AMERICA, U ARE AN AMERICAN. I don’t insist on being called Italian-American. Therefore Black Amer are not Afr-Amer. Or that would mean people (white or black) born in Africa would be called African-Africans … Just a thought to think about… If I’m racist, don’t think I would have Directed shows like The Parkers & The Wayans Bros. or worked 41 eps w/ Victoria Rowell on D.Murder.”

The compassionate and tolerant and open-minded, progressive left in action, folks. But just so we’re all clear on what’s acceptable and what’s not these days, as Chachi so nicely pointed out, it’s perfectly acceptable for Jennifer Lopez to call Sarah Palin a bitch.

(“La cabrona,” for all you non-Spanish-speakers, means “bitch.”)

Double standards are awesome, aren’t they?

Hey Everyone – Tighten Your Wallets! The Obamas Have To Throw Parties Every Three Days.

You know that old saying of “do as I say, not as I do?” The Obamas must really love that saying.

According to the Pundit and Ohio Congressman Bob Latta this morning, in Bo’s first year as President, he and FLOTUS have basically thrown an average of one party every three days.

Latta’s quote (and “Ms. Rogers” is Desiree Rogers, the Social Secretary):
Let the good times roll” – and roll they have at the Obama White House, while nearly 11% of the workforce remains unemployed, nearly four million Americans are losing their homes, and terrorists ride the open skies.

In fact, according to the Chicago Tribune, the stylish Ms. Rogers and the party-hearty First Couple hosted no less than 170 parties and social events through December 3 of 2009. And that does not even include the 17 parties and 11 open houses – feting more than 50,000 guests – ABC News reported the Obamas hosted throughout the Holiday Season.

For those not counting, that means by January, 2010, Ms. Rogers had staged one gala White House event every three days throughout the first year of the Obama Administration, making the once austere Executive Mansion look more like party central.

Wow. It’s like having Studio 57 right down the hall from your bedroom every three days. I wonder who’s paying for it? Huh.

And, let’s not even mention the lavish vacations they’ve taken. You know, when I’m working two jobs and haven’t had a vacation in years. But I guess that’s neither here nor there when you’re waaaaay above the commoners and all.

Make sure you keep tightening your belts for that common good, everyone! Hope and change. Awww yeah.

Someone Please Make Her Stop

So, I’m reading this article today about how Michelle Obama is slipping in the polls along with her husband.

Her poll numbers are higher than Bo’s, but let’s face it – who’s aren’t at this point, right? Regardless, her numbers have gone down:

55% of Americans have at least a somewhat favorable opinion of Mrs. Obama. That’s down 7 points, or 11%, since November’s survey and it’s her lowest approval level since holding the Bible for her Democratic husband, Barack, to take the oath of office on that cold D.C day back on Jan. 20.

You know what I think it is?

The right-under-the-boobs-bondage belts.

What in the holy hell is up with these BELTS? I couldn’t even read the rest of the article – the belt was too distracting.

Someone please make her stop. Immediately.

Barbara Wa Wa Selects FLOTUS As Most Fascinating Person Of The Year; A Collective Yawn From Boredom Ensues

Barbara Walters chose Michelle Obama as the most fascinating person of the year. I’m assuming it’s because she planted a garden and was on the cover of O Magazine and has nice arms and, um, has wore a lot of World Wrestling Federation belts (while being called a fashion icon) since becoming FLOTUS. Because I really can’t think of any other reasons why she’s fascinating.

Others on the list include Kate Gosselin, Lady Gaga, Adam Lambert, Jenny Sanford, Tyler Perry, Glenn Beck, Brett Favre, Sarah Palin and Michael Jackson’s children – Prince, Paris and Blanket.

In a world where you can now get a Nobel Peace Prize with an order of a Big Mac and lump a First Lady into a category that includes a kid actually named Blanket, a reality TV mother-of-the-year-candidate with hair like a cockatiel, and some dude that I think was on American Idol, well, life is just plain fascinating, isn’t it?

Yet another example of that “real” journalism, I assume. Keep up the great work there, Babs.

Fiscal Responsibility At Its Finest: FLOTUS Orders Thigh-High French Boots

Remember those hideous, $540 Lanvin sneakers that Mobama wore to a food bank to serve homeless people?

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Yeah. Those were appropriate for the setting. And newsworthy, no less.

Now, more shocking, earth-shattering, breaking Yahoo news and UK Telegraph news is reporting that FLOTUS is ordering expensive thigh-high French boots.

This is important crap, people.

Robert Clergerie said the US first lady had chosen a black pair with flat heels as well as another pair of calf-length boots in soft beige buckskin, both in size 41 (US size nine-and-a-half, British size seven).

So, what can we take from this gripping news story? Her feet are Amazon-like, she would’ve ordered Louboutins if she had any taste whatsoever, and I’m hoping to God and everything that’s holy and fashionable that she didn’t get the matching WWF belt to go with them.

Healthcare and foreign policy and economic despair news be damned! Stay tuned to more compelling FLOTUS fashion coverage…

The White House Christmas Tree Is Delivered

If you’re like me, you’ve been waiting and waiting, nervously and anxiously, unable to eat or sleep with anticipation, for the arrival of the White House Christmas tree to be delivered to Michelle Obama.

Well, I’m pleased to inform you that you’ll be able to rest easy tonight. IT HAS ARRIVED. And happily, Michelle didn’t disappoint in the belt department. She went all festive on us, with a bright red belt that was about half the size of her normal waist accents. Because, dear readers, THIS TIME, she went with a giant BOW on the front of her blouse. A giant bow right under her chin. And this fashion disaster was pulled together with her trademark cardigan. So, you know, a super wide belt just wouldn’t have fit with this particular ensemble.

Any fashion editors who continue to insist that she’s some sort of fashion icon need to get their eyes examined and/or stop trying to suck up so much.

Although, I’ll give Michelle credit for the state dinner dress. I’m not a gold fan, but it looked nice on her.

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See? Who says I don’t ever have anything nice to say.

The FLOTUS Belt Fetish Continues…

I think she’s talking about the garden and the State Dinner and, well, I don’t know.

I kind of don’t give a crap.

I mean, that BELT. Much like looking directly at Medusa, you may want to be careful when looking straight at it. I believe it could actually cause spontaneous seizures.

FLOTUS To Be On Reality Show. How Cute.

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The First Lady will join the ranks of all the reality-show talent seen in places like Brett Michael’s Rock of Love Bus and the thespian mecca that is Big Brother by appearing on Iron Chef. You know, that show with the food and militant-looking people cooking and chopping food and stuff. I don’t watch it, as I tend to stay away from all things kitchen and cooking-related. But I’ve heard it’s a compelling and groundbreaking show.

Michelle agreed to take part in the show to promote her campaign of healthy living. During the show, which attracts an audience of 1.5m in the US, she will be seen talking to the chefs about the importance of getting children to eat vegetables.

And, they’re even going to use ingredients from the newly-planted White House garden. You know - the one with the sludge in it from the Clinton years.

I think I’ll go grab a Quarter Pounder, FLOTUS, but thanks anyway.

Way to make a difference there, Mrs. Obama. Really.

Rev. Wright – Wrong Again

Remember Reverend Wright? That pastor-dude that Obama looked to as a spiritual leader for a few decades? The one who married Obama and Michelle, baptized their two daughters and is credited by Obama for the title of his book, “The Audacity of Hope?”

You know – that one who said, “God damn America!”

You remember him, right?

Yeah, well, here he is again, on September 17 OF THIS YEAR, “praising Marxism and discussing his ties to communists in El Salvador and Nicaragua and the Libyan government.”

Oh, but I’m just positive that he never spewed this crap when Obama went to church to listen to him all those Sundays. Never. No way.

That Kool-Aid suuuuuurrrrre is yummy stuff, folks!

Yet Another Holiday Gift Idea For That Hard-To-Buy-For Person On Your List…

Michelle Obama Doll

And to think – I didn’t even know that the Barack Obama action figure existed. But now, folks, you can also get the Michelle Obama doll - for which I just KNOW you were waiting with bated breath.

Jailbreak Toys, the manufacturer of these fine playthings, said that the Michelle Obama doll is the must have of the season. And the target audience for such a plaything is “not children but adults who collected toys as a child, who haven’t lost that kind of whimsical enthusiasm.”

And, of course (because I know you were wondering), the Michelle action figure comes with two outfits – “each tailored to show off her bare arms.” The jury is still out on whether or not it also comes with its very own ShakeWeight.

If you’re reading this, Mr. Daisy – I’d rather have the leopard-print Snuggie, complete with a bonus reading light. Or a fork to jam into my eyes. Either one, really.

Big Bird Confronts Michelle

Offered with no comment. Except enjoy. :)

Inappropriate.

You know what’s worse than hearing Michelle Obama turn an Olympic pitch into a speech that is ALL ABOUT HER?

The visual of Michelle Obama, age 20, sitting on her dad’s lap.

This is why you should always double super proofread your speeches, Michelle. Put down the Shakeweight and check your facts.

GAWD.

Ten Soldiers Killed In Afghanistan

anniversary

Ten American troops were killed this weekend in Afghanistan. Ten.

According to this article, the “attacks also came at a crucial juncture in the eight-year-old war, with President Obama soon to decide whether to accept a request by General Stanley McChrystal, the commander of the 100,000-strong US and Nato force in Afghanistan, for 40,000 extra troops, or to scale back the counter-insurgency operation and focus narrowly on crushing al-Qaeda.”

He’s going to SOON decide, you guys. You know, SOON. Even though he was first given the task to decide in August and all.

But you know what should make everyone feel all warm and fuzzy? Bo and Michelle celebrated their 17th weddding anniversary in style this weekend. You can read all about their hot date here. I think it includes how many bites Michelle took of her dinner and how many times Bo got up to pee.

Maybe I should send the families of those troops killed in Afghanistan this weekend this article. I bet it would make them feel better that he’s been sitting on such an important decision for over a month now…

Nah….why bother? I mean, it’s just so much more FUN to live in ignorance and read about how gorgeous Michelle’s black dress was. It was stunning, wasn’t it?

Michelle Obama Needs A ShakeWeight

So, Mock and I are at lunch today with Luke Messer – a local guy who’s going to be running for Congress in 2010 (entry on that forthcoming). While we were driving back to our respective jobs, I got an email from a friend (also a clever and competent reader) who was letting me know that Chicago didn’t get the Olympic nod.

The title of the email was simply this: “IOC = Racist”

I knew immediately what was going to be in the email – that the wasted trip to Copenhagen (when he SHOULD have been spending his freakin’ time calling the General on the ground in Afghanistan or working on healthcare or trying to figure out what he can do to help the almost 10% unemployment rate in the country) was just that – a total and complete waste of time (and taxpayer money).

The body of the email was simply this: “Chicago eliminated for the 2016 Olympics. Michelle’s arms, Barack, and Oprah…not impressive.”

Here’s the Obama Network CNN freaking out about the news. Total disbelief. “An audible gasp….”

Lunch. Coming. Up.

I’m in agreement with my friend’s short commentary. It must be the arms, people. Michelle? It’s time to do some more tricep kickbacks, it seems. Your guns are becoming yesterday’s news. Perhaps a ShakeWeight will do the trick. I’m sure Mock will be glad to send you hers.

Aaaaand, now that this whole Olympic thing is behind us, CAN WE GET SOME ACTUAL WORK DONE IN THIS COUNTRY? Thanks.

Michelle McDiva And Her Hideous Bondage Belt Give Speech On Health Reform

Michelle Obama is riding on her hubby’s coattails in the healthcare media blitz by making sure she addresses the female emotional side of reform. To all you ladies out there….we are “the face of the fight,” you know.

In her speech, she told women that “her husband’s plan would help achieve true equality for women.” Wow. That’s some sweeping generalization there, considering I still make 80 cents to a dude’s dollar and all. But yeah. Healthcare will work all that out, I’m sure.

Here’s her moving speech full of anecdotal emotion:

You know what’s interesting to me about all the personal stories presented in this moving diatribe? Michelle McDiva was a hospital administrator herself once at the University of Chicago Medical Center, and apparently, when she was in charge, not all was peachy keen when it came to not turning people away for care. According to this article back in February, “patient dumping” happened under her watch.

“The hospital’s effort to manage patient care began with a group of executives that included First Lady Michelle Obama, who was involved in early efforts to educate patients on the best use of the emergency room.”

And that “education” led to some anecdotes that included people waiting for hours to be cared for, only to be ultimately turned away.

This is just food for thought when McDiva is trying to reach out to all of us fellow female-folk, preying on our emotional side – you know, that side of us that cares deeply for those we love and doesn’t want them to be dumped by a hospital administrator and stuff.

But in all seriousness, what in the hell is up with that belt?

A Diva And Some Certified Organic Kale Shut Down Washington D.C.

snob
Because, you know, Michelle McDiva was hungry and all.

According to this, the FLOTUS shut down several streets in D.C. just to do a little organic food shopping. This is how grocery shopping plays out for her:

The Secret Service and the D.C. police brought in three dozen vehicles and shut down H Street, Vermont Avenue, two lanes of I Street and an entrance to the McPherson Square Metro station. They swept the area, in front of the Department of Veterans Affairs, with bomb-sniffing dogs and installed magnetometers in the middle of the street, put up barricades to keep pedestrians out, and took positions with binoculars atop trucks. Though the produce stand was only a block or so from the White House, the first lady hopped into her armored limousine and pulled into the market amid the wail of sirens.

But wait. It gets better.

Cowbells were rung. Somebody put a lei of marigolds around Obama’s neck. The first lady picked up a straw basket and headed for the “Farm at Sunnyside” tent, where she loaded up with organic Asian pears, cherry tomatoes, multicolored potatoes, free-range eggs and, yes, two bunches of Tuscan kale. She left the produce with an aide, who paid the cashier as Obama made her way back to the limousine.

I don’t know about you guys, but I always expect a lei of marigolds around my neck when I go to pick up my certified organic kale and Asian pears.

The author of this much-needed article reminds us that “the promotion of organic and locally grown food, though an admirable cause, is a risky one for the Obamas, because there’s a fine line between promoting healthful eating and sounding like a snob.”

Wow. You THINK?

Michelle McDiva likes to tell everyone to buy organic, shop at places like Whole Foods (and don’t get me wrong – Whole Foods is a neat little place full of beautifully displayed food and yuppies galore), but they’re wildly, ridiculously overpriced. And in this economy, it’s just not feasible for most people to spend three bucks for a pint of potatoes when you can go to your local grocery store and get a pound for 40 cents. HELLO.

Although McDiva did point out that people could use their food stamps there – and get double the savings with them! OOOOH. Thanks, McDiva! I’m sure that’s what we should be having people with food stamps do – buy the LEAST amount that they can get for the taxpayer money they’re receiving and all. Good plan.

$12,000 FLOTUS/POTUS date nights and ridiculously overpriced kale at the expense of a gazillion Secret Service people, traffic disruption, and bomb-sniffing dogs? Um….not priceless.

The most giggle-worthy part of the article was when McDiva was quoted as saying, “There are times when putting together a healthy meal is harder than you might imagine.”

Particularly when it involves a soundstage, an interpreter for the deaf, three TV satellite trucks and the closing of part of downtown Washington.

But yeah – they’re in touch with us common folk and understand what it’s like to fear increasing power bills and rising unemployment and ridiculous commoner things like that. GAWD.

Obama Going Late-Night…Again

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Obama’s scheduled to go on David Letterman on September 21st. He’ll be the sole guest, according to this report, because, as we all know, Obama really needs the exposure.

And because Letterman is just a few notches away from Chris Matthews on the Obama man-crush meter, I fully expect that it’ll be even more of an kiss-ass-fest than his Leno appearance, which included a lovely little presidential bonus slam against mentally handicapped people. Of course, he was only on Leno for a segment, so a whole Letterman show will allow him to really show off his celebrity goods. I’m envisioning a variety show, really, complete with some show tunes, Pelosi doing some backup clapping, and Michelle just walking around the stage with her to-DIE-for naked arms.

The jury’s still out, though.