It's the most wonderful time of the year, y'all. I love the holidays. And I'm betting that a lot of you do, too.
It's also the time where a bunch of liberals get offended by Christmas and Santa and Christian people being happy and whatnot. You know. The regular liberal PC crap.
If you haven't heard of NORAD, they're the North American Aerospace Defense Command, and since 1955, they've tracked Santa for all of our kiddos. Because they're awesome like that. Now, with the handy-dandy Internet, kids (and geeked-out adults like me) can track Santa online, and it's completely fun to do so. Because CHRISTMAS. And because SANTA.
But where there's joy, there are offended wussies.
This morning, I read a new "I'm offended, therefore I am!" complaint from a "children's advocacy group" that apparently is irritated with NORAD. Not because of Christianity or trees or crosses or Santa's red suit or his white beard or reindeer or anything like that.
Nah - they're offended because "NORAD injects militarism into Christmas by showing fighter jets escorting Santa's sleigh."
OMG FIGHTER JETS!
I'm not even kidding about this. And this is the video that made them irritated:
The Boston-based Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood said the video brings violence and militarism to a beloved tradition. Others had similar criticism. Blogs and Twitter lit up with volleys from both sides.
Josh Golin, the coalition's associate director, reiterated his criticism in an interview with The Associated Press -- but he called the brouhaha "a media-manufactured controversy." The coalition hadn't known about the fighter jet video until reporters called, he said.
"Nobody in my organization was out there protesting," he said.
U.S. Navy Capt. Jeff Davis, a NORAD spokesman, said he understands the critics' point of view but disagrees.
"We really do feel strongly that it's something that is safe and non- threatening, and not something that would negatively impact children," he said. "In fact, we think that it's a lot of fun."
Davis said the fighter escort is nothing new. NORAD began depicting jets accompanying Santa and his reindeer in the 1960s, he said.
And he insisted the fighters in the video are unarmed: They're Canadian Air Force CF-18s, with a large external fuel tank under the belly that might look like a bomb. The wing racks that would carry bombs or missiles are empty, he explained.
There's a second video, too, which is way cooler, by the way, so I must post it here:
Of course, NORAD is answering the criticism like normal, thinking human beings with "This is very much a fun and safe and nonviolent site that children of all ages can visit...Parents can be confident their children will walk away (and) have had fun and potentially have learned something, too."
Because they know that kids LOVE THIS STUFF. As do adults who don't have their panties all up in a giant wad. In fact, last year, NORAD had "114,000 phone calls, 1.2 million Facebook followers and 129,000 Twitter followers." Go figure. So I'm thinking that folks aren't too FRIGHTENED here. And most people don't go looking for things to be offended by. In fact, they realize that fighter jets escorting Santa is completely awesome, there's no violence in these videos, and everyone needs to shut their yappers and let people just ENJOY SOME TRADITIONS, for crying out loud.
But we do live in the Land of the Perpetually Offended, so there's always a hair somewhere on the Birthday Cake, right?
Merry Christmas, everyone. Now go track you some SANTA.