Mock sent this article to me this morning, and I believe my response to it was the non-PC version of WHIZZAH WHUZZAH? Yeah. The one with the F-word in it. Because this is just plain wacked out, no matter how open-minded you are. I know it’s not blatantly political, but it is a testament to the decaying sense of values in the world. So, I’m going to rant about it. You’ve been warned.
It’s about pole-dancing classes. For NINE-YEAR OLDS. Nine. As in not even a decade old.
And listen, if given the opportunity to take one of these classes for free (I’m thrifty these days), I’d be more than happy to sign up. After all, it looks like a killer workout. But I’m almost 40 years old. So, I feel as though I’m adult enough to see this for what it is, I’m sure my husband would get a kick out of what I learned, and I’m comfortable enough in my own sexuality to know that I’m not on the brink of being in clear-heeled shoes anytime soon, if you know what I mean.
For a girl as young as NINE? Not cool. And the fact that people are trying to rationalize it as a non-sexual thing is just plain stupid. In our culture, IT’S SEXUAL. And over my dead BODY would my nine or ten or 15-year old daughter be a part of this class. You can justify it all you want and say that it’s a great workout. But you’re not going to win the argument with me. In fact, I’m just going to point out that you’re teaching 9-year olds how to give a lap dance, and you, well, SUCK.
Some of the awesome rationalizing quotes from obvious Mensa members/fitness instructors:
I just had a baby six months ago and I’m hoping she’ll start to learn pole-dancing as soon as she can,” says Tammy Morris, owner of Tantra Fitness. “Kids love the pole. If anything, it’s hard to get them off it because they’re such naturals.”
Morris, a former exotic dance champion, says she’s worked hard to separate the art of stripping from the art of pole-dancing, with the focus of the latter being fitness and technique. She acknowledges that the activity is steeped in sexual history, but nonetheless, thinks any moral panic around its instruction to young people is misplaced.
“Children have no (erotic) association with the pole whatsoever,” says Morris, arguing that kids would see the same apparatus at a firehall, playground or circus. “Unless you teach someone how to grind and make reference to taking off your clothing, there’s nothing wrong with it.”
It’s just another form of exercise, and an awesome core workout . . . You should see (Kennedy’s) little abs — they’re rockin’,” says Randi Moscovitch-Benko, a fitness instructor. I challenge anybody who has anything to say about it being a bad thing or a sexual thing or ‘how can you let your child do this?’ to get up on the pole and try to pull their legs over their head.”
She challenges ANYBODY, you guys. And by challenge, she obviously means a dance-off. And she’s right – I’m sure a little girl wouldn’t have any point of reference for connecting a pole with sex, especially when people like Miley Cyrus was grinding on one during a recent awards show. Nah. That was ENTIRELY appropriate for her audience. You just keep on telling yourselves that, ex-strippers-turned-philosophers-on-childhood-development. Alrighty then.
Here’s the truth. There’s a stigma attached to it. The pole has been sexualized. You CANNOT deny that in this day and age, so why not just be honest about all of this and call it what it is? When a precious, little 9-year old girl can participate in classes called “Bellylicious, Sexy Flexy, Pussycat Dawls and Promiscuous Girls,” and you say this ISN’T SEXUAL IN NATURE? There is something seriously wrong with the world.
And here I thought that MTV cornered the market on attempting to turn our young girls into vapid little tramps. Looks like the fitness industry is following suit. Lovely.
Completely and totally WACK.
