According to this, some chick I've never heard of named Nadia Cho, a University of Berkeley student, wrote a really frisky opinion piece for her university paper about how much sex she had in all sorts of places on campus. There was no shortage of detail in it, and she advised her fellow students on how to have successful sex encounters on campus (in the library, for example), right down to the most convenient sexual position. Her column on HuffPo (the sourcelink) is a whine-fest about how much flak she then received for plastering the personal details of her sex life into a publication that the entire world could ultimately see.
She defends her original Daily Californian piece by saying, "It was the last column of the semester and I wanted to write something lighthearted, so I talked about an afternoon I spent having sex with a male partner in various places on campus. The only agenda I had for publishing this particular column was pure amusement, and perhaps to encourage a few of my campus peers to also make some wild memories before the semester ends."
It was for pure amusement, you see. And to encourage her peers to go have a bunch of sex on campus of their own.
Apparently, her column caught the attention of all sorts of other media outlets across the globe, and the phone calls started pouring in. She was surprised by the attention, and therefore wrote a follow up piece (the sourcelink) about the backlash.
Her point? That college kids have sex, lots of it, everyone knows it, and clearly SHE is the enlightened one for being brave enough to talk about it openly and candidly, and the controversy is OBVIOUSLY because she "happens to be a woman of color."
What a huge pile of monkeyballs.
I can't speak for all of the people disgusted with her first piece, but I'm guessing if they're like me, their disgust had absolutely nothing to do with her color, and everything to do with the fact that it's just completely gross for her to advertise in great detail what should perhaps remain a private experience. I mean, her picture is plastered next to her column, which means that your brain sort of automatically and involuntarily conjures up images of her DOING the things she describes in her column. And frankly....eeew.
Nadia says, "The world needs to be more comfortable with talking about sex and openly acknowledging that it happens. Sex is the one of the few things that are constant and universal, and human beings aren't going to stop banging anytime soon, if ever. It would benefit everyone to view sex as something more natural in a positive light, rather than a super-scandalous forbidden phenomenon."
That is the dumbest thing I've ever read. No one is suggesting that sex isn't positive, or that it's super scandalous or forbidden. The suggestion is simply that you perhaps you might consider freaking KEEPING IT TO YOURSELF. If you're having a great time banging some dude (and in her case as she proudly describes in her first article, some chick as well) then YIPPEE FOR YOU. What possible reason is there to share this with everyone? Everyone poops too, but people generally don't feel a need to write entire columns for their university papers about the size and consistency of their excrement. The reason? Because some things are simply better left unsaid.
She writes, "People feel ashamed or embarrassed to talk about having sex because they feel like they shouldn't have been doing it in the first place."
Um, no they don't. Or at least, I don't. I am well aware of my right and ability and desire to have sex, and so when the mood strikes, I grab Mr. Mock, and I have it, guilt-free, embarrassment-free, and shame-free. What I don't do is feel some exhibitionist need to come here to write all the details about it for our readers.
But Nadia doesn't just stop there. She says that this backlash is "sex-negative" and that it creates a "heavy silence around sexual violence." Gawd. Cue Ashley Judd calling this chick some sort of heroine for feminine social justice or something.
Serious question here. Has anyone else noticed that the more sex gets talked about on TV and in the media in general, and the more we become desensitized to seeing it everywhere, the more sexual violence there actually seems to be?
Nadia thinks that "Everyone should feel free to talk about their sex lives without being invalidated and shamed for their experiences and accept that it's okay for people to have sex for no other reason than that they like to. There needs to be constructive discussion and dialogue about sex, both the good and the bad aspects of it, because it happens -- regardless of how the general public feels about it. Simply slut-shaming all individuals who are found to have sex doesn't do anything. The fact that people are calling me all variations of slut and whore really isn't making my sex life any less awesome, nor is it going to stop me from doing it, or even writing about it. I just wish this viral media stuff wasn't kicking my ass during finals."
This is just so completely absurd. WHY should everyone run around talking about their sex lives? Why can't we simply all accept that it's fine for people to HAVE sex without having to DISCUSS it ad nauseum? What is the purpose of all of this "constructive discussion and dialogue" exactly? Does Nadia honestly believe that women who are not "slut-shamed" (as she apparently has been as a result of all of her openness and candor), don't have sex? Isn't it possible that they have lots of sex, but simply don't feel a need to share all of the details about it with everyone? Guess what, Nadia! Everyone has either a penis or vagina, and yet, we all still wear clothes in public. There's a reason for that, and it doesn't have anything to do with the weather.
Y'all know that I happily admit to being incredibly immature and irreverent on occasion, but I think Nadia's got some serious growing up to do. I get that this generation is all "LOOK AT ME ME ME!!!" but HOLY CRAP.
Leave a little for the imagination, for crying out loud. GAWD.