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Thursday, 11/15/2012 - 01:05 pm EST

Unions, Not Satisfied With Just Being The Biggest Amount Of Suckage Ever, Now Want To Deprive Us Of Ho Hos.

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Oh, it's freaking ON now.

Unions are messing with Ho Hos now.  And YOU DO NOT MESS WITH HO HOs.

According to this, the CEO of Hostess said yesterday that they will have to liquidate the company if the bratty, ridiculous striking union workers don't return to work by the end of the day today.  He said, "We simply do not have the financial resources to survive an ongoing national strike."

Why are unions too stupid to understand basic math? I mean, how do they not see that if they demand more money and more benefits, and the company cannot afford to give them more money and more benefits, then what will generally happen is that they will lose their jobs altogether?  I mean, I SUCK at math, but even I understand this.

But union workers?  Nope.  They apparently think that if they keep making demands, then magical mystical Obamamoney will simply fall out of the sky and onto the negotiation table, and then leap off that table right into their wallets.  This is how they think, you guys.

So, instead of accepting the fact that Hostess DOES NOT HAVE THE MONEY to satisfy their every want and demand, they're going to end up with NO money, and NO benefits. 18,000 people will lose their jobs, because the bakers union is a big fat pile of monkeyballs.   

Hostess has already had to file for bankruptcy TWICE since 2004.  It's not like they're MAKING UP the fact that they're low on funds. 

But union workers?  Well, here's what one of them said. "I spent 30 years of my life, missed a lot of time with my family, now it's time for me to enjoy that time and I have to keep working, I'm missing out on a lot."

Hey union worker? Ask your union head which presidential candidate campaign they poured money into.  It's not Hostess' fault the economy sucks.

Hostess already announced earlier in the week that they're closing their bakeries in Seattle, St Louis, and Cincy, which meant 627 people have already lost their jobs.  And still, the unions continue to strike.

I can only assume they are masochists.  There is no other plausible explanation.

I told Daisy yesterday that I was going to write about this, and the following email exchange ensued:

Me:  I have a post in drafts about Hostess shutting down 3 factories because the unions wanted more stuff from them.  And now the union workers are out of a job.  Can you believe that? I mean, I hate it for Hostess, but THAT IS WHAT THE UNION JERKS FREAKING GET. 

Daisy:  Now I totally am craving Twinkies.  GOD I LOVE TWINKIES almost as much as I hate unions.


Daisy:  OMG HO HOS…….I just drooled a little on my shirt.  I’m NOT KIDDING YOU.  Freakin HO HOS.

Me:  I just got glared at by two passersby for busting out laughing in my office. I need a Ho Ho like I need air to breathe.  I’m seriously stopping at a gas station on my way home and I AM BUYING A HO HO. 

Daisy:  You should buy a BOX of HO HOS.  And eat them while driving and laugh maniacally at passing cars, screaming HO HOS B*TCHES!  HO HOS! I love that idea so much I may do it myself.

Seriously - this is pretty much how most of our emails end up - with us hysterically giggling over the most mind-numbingly random stuff.

But yeah - I kind of want to grab the head of the union by the shoulders and say, "HO HOs B*TCHES!" because I don't want to live in a world without Ho Hos.  It doesn't matter that I haven't had one in probably 8 years.  I just like knowing that they're there. 

"Ho Hos, B*tches."  Daisy - I think a new tagline is in order...



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