Have y'all noticed that there have been several stories in the past few days about Michelle Obama's new school lunch menus?
Apparently, students are revolting against Queen Obama's lunch mandates.
Leave it to a Democrat First Lady - who feels as though she's equipped to run our and our children's lives - to make school lunches MORE EXPENSIVE but contain LESS FOOD for kids to actually ingest. You see, the meals that Queen Obama wants your kids to eat are, on average 20 to 25 cents more a piece, yet they don't have as much to offer. And kids are HUNGRY. Go figure.
Come to think of it, that sounds like an encapsulation of Democratic policies.
"In Wisconsin, high school athletes are complaining about not getting enough to eat each day, due to the skimpy new lunch menu mandates by the United States Department of Agriculture and First Lady Michelle Obama."
Kids are not only getting less food on these Queen-dictated menus, but they're subsequently EATING LESS than what they even have on their plate, because, well, their plates are filled with crap they don't want to eat. For example, in elementary schools, FLOTUS has implemented hummus and black bean salads. Which begs the question - has this woman ever RAISED an elementary-aged kid? I mean, I'm 41 years old, and Idon't want hummus for lunch, for crying out loud. So someone please pass me the cow and potatoes. Thanks.
The only beacon of hope in this story is the fact that students are fighting back. And it appears that they're waaaaaaay smarter and more entrepreneurial than what our Dear First Lady would EVER give them credit for. In fact, in New Bedford, Massachusetts, students have created a BLACK MARKET, you guys - for chocolate syrup. I kid you not. "The kiddie capitalists are smuggling in bottles of it and selling it by the squeeze."
And let me stop for a second and state that I want to hug every single one of those black-market-chocolate-syrup-wielding kiddie capitalists.
Of course, the government blames the kids. Because OF COURSE THEY blame the kids:
"One thing I think we need to keep in mind as kids say they're still hungry is that many children aren't used to eating fruits and vegetables at home, much less at school. So it's a change in what they are eating. If they are still hungry, it's that they are not eating all the food that's being offered," USDA Deputy Undersecretary Janey Thornton was quoted as saying.
Riiiight, Miss Bureaucrat Undersecretary. It's the KIDS' fault. And it has nothing to do with the fact that our First Lady - who, last time I checked, had NO FREAKIN DEGREE IN NUTRITION TO SPEAK OF - is dictating what kids should eat in school, based on the fact that she feeds her own kids hummus and salads, so you should too - and also based on the fact that she has nothing better to do with her time.
So, yeah. I'd just like to give a big COTR saaaaaaalute to all those kids out there that are revolting against the oppressive nutritional dictatorship of Dear First Lady. I'd also like to point out to those kids that they will be able to vote sometime in the very near future. And if you're reading this, kiddos, let me just remind you that Queen Obama is a Democrat. Democrats want to run your lives, because they feel as though you're too much of a moron to make decisions on your own. Keep that in your pocket, along with the cash you're making from your chocolate syrup venture.
You can thank me later.