Let’s Talk About The Chick With The 5-Year Old Gay (Or Maybe Not) Son
Written by Mockarena // November 5, 2010 // Weeps And Glees // 77 Comments
There’s a blog post that’s gone totally viral within the last week, written by a mother of a 5 year old son who asked to be Daphne from Scooby Doo for Halloween. Here is the resulting costume:
The post is awesome, and you should read it in its entirety. That’s a mama grizzly if there ever was one (although I suspect she wouldn’t want to be called that, given that her twitter profile bio reads “I read, teach yoga, mother of 3 shorties, am married to a cop, have a bleeding heart, and live in the Bible Belt. Send help.”)
To summarize, her son asked to be Daphne, and so she bought him the costume. He wavered a bit, because he was afraid of being made fun of. She blew that off, thinking there was no way people would make fun of a kid’s costume on the very day that kids are SUPPOSED to wear costumes. She was wrong.
A couple of other mothers at the school pulled her aside and chastised her for allowing her son to dress as Daphne. Her point is that it’s none of their freaking business, and she’s totally right about that. My favorite line is this one: “If you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to ‘make’ him gay then you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my son is gay, OK. I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.”
Daisy and I discussed this at lunch. At first, I wasn’t sure that I’d even post this, because it’s not necessarily political, but we decided that our site is as much about culture as it is about politics. And both of us are firm believers that you’re born gay, which goes against traditional mainstream conservative thought, we realize, but that’s what we believe. And so this mom is absolutely right – allowing her son to be Daphne is not going to turn him gay. Is he gay for wanting to dress up as Daphne? Perhaps. Or perhaps not. She doesn’t particularly care, because he’s her son and she loves him, and she wants him to be happy.
Now, as you might expect, there are people out there who are totally outraged by this mom allowing her son to be subjected to teasing and bullying, and allowing him to cross society’s definition of genders, when she so easily could have just said, “No honey – why don’t you be something else instead?” I get that. And I’ll be honest – my first reaction if Mini-Mock had asked to be Daphne would have been, “Daphne is a girl’s costume – wouldn’t you prefer to wear a boy costume?” Mini-Mock is like, the most agreeable kid ever, so he probably would have said, “Yeah – ok – I want to be Buzz Lightyear” and that would have been the end of the story. But what if he’d really really really really wanted to be Daphne, like this mom’s little boy did? What if it meant the world to him to have that costume?
Then you know what? I’d probably just let him be Daphne. It wouldn’t be me letting my 5 year old rule the roost. It’d be me making a conscious decision, like this mom did, to make him happy. Kinda like buying an occasional happy meal. 
Would it mean that I was a bad mom?
Some of the folks who are upset about this story would argue that yes, it would make me a bad mom. I’d be “throwing him to the wolves” and setting him up for ridicule and taunting from other kids (or their parents), and instead I should protect him and shield him from that when it’s possible. I get that sentiment. But like this mom, I also know that it’s impossible to protect and shield my kids from the world they live in. And like it or not, there is lots of negativity in it. Negativity that they’ll encounter whether they’re in or out of a Daphne costume. Perhaps this little guy is simply learning that lesson a little earlier than other kids.
His mom was right. Her “little man worked that costume like no other.” And he did rock that wig.
Discuss. 
77 Comments on "Let’s Talk About The Chick With The 5-Year Old Gay (Or Maybe Not) Son"
What a great mom. I love her quote, “I’m not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual Ninja, so back off.”
OK, I am still out on whether or not a person is “born” gay, I tend to think the majority are. But I also belong to the “dont ask, don’t tell” mindset. I don’t believe in intentionally subjecting oneself or one’s child to ridicule, which this obviously did and should have been expected. I do think that if a person is born gay, that it is an error in genetic make-up and I don’t believe we should attempt to make society accept it as normal. I believe in the Word of God, I take it literally unless it is written in obvious parables, and the Word describes homosexuality as sin. Dressing in a girly constume just perpetuates and almost dares society to indulge in the hot topic of same sex attraction and sexuality. No, I do not think the mother should have intentionally set her son up for ridicule.
I am so totally with you Chicks 100%. ‘Nuff said
Having allowed my children to be themselves – I am VERY torn how I feel about this decision. My children are 29, 28, 21, and 15.
Not that she is bad or good — but I have watched my children pay for my different style of parenting. It is hard for me to want carbon copy anything — but this child will pay for this as long as he lives with the group of children and adults who saw this. (in fact the whole family will) Is this good or bad, gosh I don’t know, kinda depends on how the child processes it.
My youngest child is Autistic and is different in everyday — we celebrate him and all his differences — He is amazing. He can’t help being different, but my other children have both suffered (some scars) and thrived in my choice to celebrate their individuality.
This post brings up some of my personal pain at watching my children pay for my liberty. I would have probably said hey buddy that’s a girl costume — lets find you a dude one.
I have met and know both kinds of gay. Some were born that way, and some were indoctrinated into it. The indoctrination starts taking place in the latter half of grammar school. Perhaps you won’t see it in Indiana, since it is far far different from California. The point of saying this is to broaden your knowledge base and it’s concepts. There is a lot more to anecdotal evidence than meets the eye.
Now, as to the little boy, I think a couple of things. I think he is quite the opposite of gay. I think he is in love with Daphne and she is his ideal woman, and little children often express their love in that manner by trying to become that person or character. I would of let him wear the costume, but I would also have told him that he should expect to be teased, and TEACH HIM TO DEFEND HIMSELF! My nephew at his age loved Barbie dolls, so I bought him a couple of Barbie dolls. To this day his girlfriends all look like Barbie dolls.
Now if he does grow up to be gay…SO WHAT?! We all have our mountains to climb, and our sins to deal with. I’m not saying being gay is not wrong, but what I am saying there are more sins than just gay, and those without sin throw the first stone. I have my own sins to face God for, so I will let others face God for theirs and continue to deal with mine.
And last, in reality, children will cull the herd. Since we really aren’t supposed to be practicing tribalism, and tribalism never results in anything good, it is the children who are doing the teasing that are actually in the wrong. Some people/children need to be teased to force some conformity in society, but in reality most just need to learn to respect differences and let consequences take place.
A good friend of mine’s grandson (who was being raised in a houseful of girls) used to play with Barbies, play dress-up in girly clothes, wanted to “do” everybody’s hair, etc. etc… They didn’t make a fuss over it- just let him do his thing. As time went on, he stopped- he just wasn’t interested in those things anymore.
Another kid I know did the same thing (had a big sister he adored playing with)- only some of the adult males in the family used to give him HELL for it- which I TOTALLY think gave him a complex (how could it not?). Now, you would swear he is going to come out of the closet any day. I can’t help but wonder if he wouldn’t have just been left alone to do his thing and play with what he wanted to without any grief from anybody if he would have grown out of it on his own and eventually become a “normal” guy.
Let kids be kids and leave them alone when they are just trying to have some innocent fun.
I’ve seen periodic evicence of it before and I just chalked it up to the fact that you were chicks. This, however, confirms it.
Y’all have lost your friggin’ minds.
I’m with the Chicks. He’s a kid and so what if he thinks Daphne is fab. It’s just a costume and I don’t think it’s anyone’s place to judge which one she lets her son wear. I’m betting this kid will turn out more well adjusted and comfortable with whoever he is than the spawn of those rude judgmental moms who felt so compelled to criticize her.
I’m of the mindset that if you make a big deal out of something, it turns into a big deal. I agree with Laurel that his mom should have prepared him to be teased. That said, I have 2 boys. If one said, “I want to be Princess Leia for Halloween,” I’d have explained they would be teased, but like Mock, I’d have let him if it was really his heart’s desire. Mr. Punky on the other hand would have thrown a fit about it. It’s a whole projection issue. I say it’s Halloween, it’s a holiday for fantasy and make-believe. Lots of guys dress up as women for Halloween and don’t get made fun of. Kids are cruel, and that’s a sad truth. Now I agree with Mishon88 to a point. Yes he’ll be made fun of for a while, but I think he’ll be forgotten when someone else does something out of the norm. Besides, how many other boys out there want to be some girl character and their parents freaked out and said No. I’ll bet the number would be surprising.
Thanks for offering insult without explanation, Rob.
I could not agree with you ladies more! All we want as parents is for our children to be happy, secure and feel that we will love them till the end of time. NO matter what. With that said, kids are mean and are ridiculed for much less at this age. I am not sure I would let my Son do something that I KNOW his peers will taunt and tease him about for a very long time. I do however realize that we, as parents cannot protect our children for the uglyness of “being a kid”, what I can do is provide the tools to deal with it in a healthy way.
I love this.
Chicks. You have my heart!
<3
If you dress up as a slutty twix bar does that make you a candy bar? No, of course not. But you're still a slut. LOL
I don’t even get where the gay part comes in on this. A little boy dressed up FOR HALLOWEEN. Grown men who are NOT gay dress up as women, heck, Regis did it.
The real issue is why the heck parents didn’t stop their freakin’ kids from bullying him! How about suggesting he has a rocking costume, kid?
I have a friend whose little boy, who is also 5, loves to play princess and wants nothing more than to dress up like Laura Ingalls, cause he LOVES her. He has a manly man for a dad, and he will grow up to be a hunting, fishing manly man when he gets around other boys instead of hanging out at home with his mom, lol. He is not gay.
Wow….so many different aspects to this! My son (who is now 15) is the middle child between 2 girls. His older sister has always been quite bossy, therefore, she decided what games they would play. She loved to dress him in girl clothes-her own, and my size barbie clothes! He would always do it to satisfy his sister and giggle like crazy when he came to show me. He is now a freshman in high school and extremely manly! He plays football, baseball, and hunts. He already has a full beard and looks like a full grown man. There is not a chance in hell that he is gay!
All that being said, I don’t think the Daphne costume is going to make this kid gay, and just like the mom said, the ninja costume is not going to make some other kid a ninja. (LOL!) And shame on the other moms for acting like they did! Of course kids are going to say things, but then again, if no adults said anything, would the kids have even thought anything about it? They are 5! Maybe as adults, we should take some cues from our kids. They are more likely to accept people just the way they are. Shouldn’t we?
Again, SHAME ON THE MOMS WHO GOT THEIR PANTIES IN A KNOT OVER THIS!
What is up with Rob Purdie? Is he a Homophobic or a Male Chauvinist Pig or just a Prick?
When I was 5 I wanted to be E.T. very badly. My mother warned me that I would be made fun of because I was a girl. (BTW was there ever really proof of E.T.’s gender?) Anyway, I “worked it” and my mom enjoys telling the story of how I was a very fearless E.T. and paid no attention to the ridicule. So I agree with this mother and with The Chicks 110%. No I have not had any urges to be an alien, gay or straight. Rock on Daphne!
On the other hand if my 6 year old grandaughter dressed up like
Robinhood would she be teased and thought to be a possible lesbian, I’m just asking?
This story popped up on CNN this morning while one of my AP kids was making up a test. I like her take on it.
“Why is this on CNN!?”
As a guy, I’d probably have fought the idea of my son dressing up as a woman, but I don’t care if this kid did. And I don’t think it’ll make him gay, but I really don’t know enough about that to speak intelligently about it.
My first reaction would have been to ask the kid why he wanted to dress up as Daphne. My reaction would have depended on his answer. I would make sure he recognized that Daphne is a girl and he is a boy (a reality check in case he is conflicted). As long as he understood and accepted that reality, then he could dress up as Cleopatra as far as I’m concerned, it would just be a costume, not an identity crisis.
My son (29 years old) and his wife dressed as Popeye and Olive Oil for Halloween last year, and when they had donned their costumes and joined the party, they had reversed roles and my son was dressed as a very convincing Olive Oil. It was hilarious. But he is every inch male with a son of his own, which is actually what made it so funny!
I think Laurel is dead-on!
My experience is this: I used to work in a middle school, which is traditionally regarded as a very difficult growing-up time in kids’ lives. There was a science teacher who worked there; then one year, her son entered 6th grade and was attending the same school. That year he wanted to be a female cheerleader for Halloween. He was all boy, so she was very surprised, but she didn’t see any reason to say no. So she helped him put together his costume–he even had ideas about how he wanted to stuff his bra! He wore his costume to school. He got a lot of laughs, but I didn’t notice anyone making fun of him or calling him gay. And she seemed like a great mother to all appearances. I think it will be something these boys will look back on and laugh.
I am personally of the opinion that the start of a homosexual identity can start in early childhood. I don’t believe that “God makes people homosexual”, but I do believe that things can happen to people when they are very, very young, that can influence their sexuality, things that they themselves may not even remember.
That being said, I think that my first question would be, “Do you know Daphne is a girl, and you are a boy?” (Fair question at that age, IMHO) I would probably try to dissuade him from that particular choice, but if he really wanted it, okay.
I think he looks adorable in that wig. If a man dressed up as Daphne for Halloween, it would be hilarious.
(And, not that this necessarily has anything to do with this little boy, if anyone is interested, there is an interesting website concerning unwanted homosexuality. They have a lot of interesting ideas. http://www.narth.com/ )
I think this whole entry pretty much explains itself, Mock. Nothing more I can add beyond idenitification.
I have already read the blog and was slightly apprehensive to see what the posting would be on your website (as much as I love it) I realize that not all conservative sites are like this. I truly believe that people are born gay because, no one would purposefully want to set themselves up to go against societies norm and be tormented by peers as a kid.
As much as it makes me nervous to see that this kid may have a hard time in his life but it looks like he has an incredibly supportive parent who supports her child. Yes, a Mama Grizzly. Good Job Guys.
JMD – Only three options? How narrow-minded of you. Shouldn’t we all be free to apply our OWN labels to ourselves?
Way too many things involved in human sexuality to just chaulk it all up to one extreme (born that way) or the other (learned trait).
The mom is an idiot for thinking that there was no way someone would laugh (in the teasing kind of way) about a boy wearing a girl costume. Even her son could sense that it would happen, he didn’t even want to get out of the car. I was kind of miffed that she insisted he wear it, after he expressed his anxiety. This was a CHURCH pre-school, for her to not know that cross dressing would cause a stir is beyond ignorant.
That being said, I agree completely with Laura.
Actually, I’d appreciate it if you WOULD add, Rob. I’d like to know what I wrote specifically that demonstrates I have “lost my friggin’ mind.”
Thanks.
I don’t think letting a child dress up a particular way will make him/her gay. You are who you are-nature vs. nuture. My son absolutely idolizes his sister who is just two years older. My son likes to play make-up with my daughter and have his toes painted just like “Sissy’s”. I don’t sit around worrying about whether or not he’s gay. I’ll leave that nonsense to my husband. Right now, my son is playing with his favorite person, and both kids are having a great time. All that said, my son also loves all types of heavy equipment and thinks he’s Buzz Lightyear in the flesh. At the age of two, he simply doesn’t “get” that certain activities, colors, costumes, etc. are for boys vs. girls. That is something we TEACH our children over time based on what we consider normal.
Why is this mom a bad mom for “subjecting her child to ridicule”? I say the bad parents are the ones that ridicule or teach their children to be unkind to those who march to the beat of a different drummer. All this over a freakin’ costume–good grief!!!
In the eighth grade my son and his friend went as nuns. I thought it was really funny. This did not make him gay but unfortunately going to a Jesuit high school turned him into a liberal.
I don’t see anything wrong with this…I mean would people freak if my daughter dressed like a boy? She was an Army solider this year…don’t think she’s gonna be a lesbo because of it…
mimi, Ah feel yore pain. Hopefully he will grow out of it.
If I dress up like a dog, can I piss on Rob’s leg?
Just remembered my favorite Halloween. My very best friend and I dressed up as Elvis and Priscilla. My motivation….I LOVE Elvis. Even though we were all grown up and our sexuality was not in question, people couldn’t resist speculating that our “friendship” wasn’t something “more”. Narrow-mindedness is epidimic. Whatever happened believing someone would do something just for the fun of it. Not everything has to be so literal!!!
I agree with the above poster, WHY is he wanting to be Daphne. As a mom of 2 little boys, I would have wanted to know what was motivating the desire to dress up like a girl. And it was probably nothing more than he like the costume! Or maybe not. Who really knows? I wonder more about the wisdom of his mom to post it on her blog. It is one thing to be discussed by your peers on Halloween night, it is another to put it out there for the world to cuss and discuss. I think this has been blown waaaaay out of proportion and this poor kiddo just needs to be left alone. The notoriety of this I think is more disturbing than the costume. Was she looking for attention?
This whole thing is ridiculous and shows what is wrong with society. I have a four-year-old daughter who loves everything about herself right now. She is confident in who she is and doesn’t care one bit what other people think about her. Next year, she will start Kindergarten and her whole outlook will change. It is going to be a very sad year for me as she loses her individualism. Our shopping trips with her dressed as a dinosaur (Oh dear, I hope she doesn’t turn into one of those!) or in a princess dress will cease and I will watch her own self-perceived perfection fade as “they” teach her just everything that is wrong with her.
Let kids be kids! Why do we kill their imaginations and make them feel inadequate?
My favorite line is the sneaky one….questioning being a bad mom by letting him dress as Daphne or buying the occasional happy meal! You are right, we (I’m a dad) make conscious choices the impact our children positively and negatively every day. Being afraid to let your child be who they are because of someone else’s opinion is an injustice to their emotional, personal and mental growth process.
I do not believe people are born gay, but if they were, would it be wrong to act on it?
I was born straight. I have a natural impulse to breed with every woman whom I find attractive. Does it make it OK to do that?
We can overcome our inborn inclinations if a moral law is at risk of being broken.
If someone has a fit of anger and kills someone, it’s not enough that he offers an explanation of, “I can’t help it, I was just born a hot-head.”
God exists. God made people. God gave people rules to protect them. God does not make someone incapable of following His own rules for them.
Apparently I am in the minority here. I wonder what that little boy is feeling now, aside from whether he is gay or not. I am sure this attention to his sexuality is not a positive thing, and yes, I DO think that can make him question his sexuality. Maybe it’s a generation thing, but we need to protect our children. My son also is autistic, as is Mishon88′s. I was fiercely defensive of anyone who would tease or bully him. He was different! But when I noticed kids’ were paying attention to his differences, I did everything I could to lovingly explain to him to control his hand-flapping, etc. in the presence of others. He has matured into a well-rounded, independent living young man. He knows who he is and likes himself as well as having an extraordinary compassion for his fellow man/woman. Just protect the children and when they are adults they can protect themselves.
Sorry, Bob – you missed your opportunity. If your mother had dressed you up like a dog when you were five-years-old, then you’d have a case. You’ll just have to use the men’s room like the rest of us.
Unless your mother dressed you up as Daphne, in which case your free to choose.
Maybe this is different, but I have a 2 y/o who likes pink. We don’t have many pink toys at home (aside from one rattle and a few things from my childhood), and we went to a friend’s house and he B-lined for the pink toys that belonged to the friend’s daughter and was having a blast with a princess wand. The friends of mine dressed him up in a tiara put him on a pink power wheel type toy and started taking his picture. They uploaded it to Facebook with the caption “Future Fag”. They also called him “Mr. Princess” all night. I eventually just left. I don’t care if he turns out to be gay but,
He’s 2. He doesn’t even know what gay means. He can’t even say “gay”
IMHO, Sexuality is like a gift with purchase at the Cleanique counter. You don’t know exactly what’s inside that makeup bag till you take it home open it yourself.
Also, NO ONE WOULD CARE if this was a little girl dressed up like a man. NO ONE.
About all the “God” stuff, not everyone believes or cares what people think about him, or what he (if he) thinks about them. No offense intended, but if that’s the best argument you have about why being gay or acting on gay impulses is wrong… well let’s just say I have doubts about the firm nature of your argument. Homosexuality is a response in our DNA to overpopulation, when and how that override occurs is still a mystery. We have seen it in all great and small apes, including humans, in history when overpopulation is a problem; Rome, Turkey, Sumaria, The Middle East, Europe, Asia, Native America, and now today. Many cultures believe that having heterosexual relations is ONLY for the purposes of creating children, where as doing so for pleasure is strictly with persons of the same sex. If you are a believer in intelligent design, if being gay is so evil, why wouldn’t your all loving all powerful being destroy it? Or even better why would he allow something so sinful be made in his image given that he is the Creator of All Things? Or is he not All Powerful and thus unworthy of worship?
You rock that Daphene costume dude… Rock it.
So the kid wanted to be Daphne for Halloween…BFD. It’s Halloween, a day when everyone gets to dress up and be whoever they want or love. No one ever bats an eye when girls dress up as male characters! As long as his Mom warned him that he might be teased she did the right thing. Making a big deal out of it would have been worse.
When I was a little girl I was always a male character…every year. Why? Because the male characters had more fun! The Lone Ranger. A baseball player. Superman. GI Joe. Diver Dan. I played sports and all my friends were boys. I think my mother was worried because I was such a Tomboy. Well, not to worry. By the time I turned 13 or so, I was all girl, and interested in boys other than on the ball field! Parents need to just let kids be kids…most often things aren’t as big as the “grown-ups” make them out to be.
And I agree, you’re either destined to be gay or your not. Dressing up as Daphne certainly won’t be the “tipping point”!!
Weak stuff, Ali. If the homosexuality is a response to overpopulation, then it would stand to reason that according to survival of the fittest, they would be the least fit to reproduce and would self extinguish.
My all loving God allows sin so that we can have free will. He doesn’t want us to act less than perfectly, but accepts us if we accept him.
Cindy – actually that’s my one issue with this woman – that she DIDN’T warn him about the teasing. She actually wrote that she didn’t think for a second anyone WOULD tease a child on Halloween over their costume. That was pretty naive.
If it had been Mini-Mock, I would have DEFINITELY warned him about the reaction he might get, and if he was still ok with it, then Daphne he’d be.
My ONLY problem with it is it sounds like the kid wavered when all was said and done but the mom kind of made him wear the costume anyway. Maybe I’m reading that wrong but if I’m not, then I think she should have let him have the Daphne costume to wear at home and take something more boyish to school.
If he really and truly wanted to wear the Daphne costume to school and was prepared for the inevitable teasing, more power to him. But as a parent, I think part of my job is to help my children realize that, like it or not, kids can be mean and you either have to be ready to take it or do things to avoid it. That’s partly why I teach them manners, make them bathe regularly, wear clean clothes, stop picking their noses… etc.
He sure makes a cute Daphne though!!
I actually think yours is the “weak stuff”. Some Omna-power-lover-knower knowingly created something he “loved” in his image to be sent to an eternity of burning in hell, or simply permanently separating it from him depending on which dogma you follow, for being what he created it to be according to you. Doesn’t sound so loving… or smart… or worthy of my time. And you can say “God works in mysterious ways we can’t possibly understand” all day. Doesn’t make it any less illogical and a waste of my time.
Recessive traits can take many generations to resurface (IE mental retardation, blue eyes, red hair, take your pick…), and the current scientific theory is that it has a trigger mechanism within the genetic code much like the Bubonic Plague, it is confirmed to be present in 60-80% of the population globally. The plague’s symptoms that it is so famous for simply aren’t active at this time. Just like with the plague, we simply don’t know when or how it is triggered, which gets the trait consistently reintroduced into the gene pool.
I personally can’t imaging being a parent and even SUGGESTING to another parent what may or may not be inappropriate. That’s none of my damn business. I raise my kids, you raise yours. If your kid hurts mine in some way, I’m calling you on it, but a discussion about an appropriate Halloween costume?? No freakin’ way….
I was two years older than this kid when I started playing Pop Warner (tackle) Pee Wee Football, I wanted to play, but in my house you had no choice either way, growing up with 4 tough, hard headed athletic brothers, and a dad who played professionally who also was a demanding weekend coach ( And he was a terrific coach)…so I must confess that, while I find this boys costume a bit….exotic shall we say, and I’m embarrassed to say…. unnatural as well, I also recognize it does not make him automatically gay, and if it did so what, as long as he is a good human being and a productive citizen. I do wonder about his dad’s point of view in this conversation though….while it is by no means a panacea, and there is ample evidence to verify that, still, having a positive engaged male role model in a young man’s life is …indispensible, no matter how their sexuality develops …inner city communities know full well the devastating consequences of this.
Ali: How is it you can make me feel sorry for you and your ignorance, and totally laugh at you at the same time? What was done to your child is absolutely horrible. ON the other hand, the rest of your post/posts is totally ignorant.
Did you really compare genetics to the Bubonic Plague?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
If you are going to partake of the benefits of Western Civilization, please take the time to set aside your fear and learn something about it, and yes that includes religion.
Caroline…but you have the perfect response to criticism…”Bite me!”
Mock…let’s just say you summed that whole situation up perfectly and I personally agree with you whole-heartedly!
Ali — you need some new friends. I’d also demand that those pictures be taken down and deleted.
I like that you and Daisy are politically conservative but believe individuals are born gay… so do I! That little boy looks so cute and, yes, he is rocking that wig. LOL At five years old, his mom did the right thing, IMO, in getting him the costume that he wanted.
I have a twin brother and as children I made him play dress-up with me and have tea parties with me and read my poems as children. No adults chastised my mom for letting my brother parade around in the back yard with me in dresses and hats! My twin grew up just fine and is not gay. I think we put too much emphasis on what boys should do as opposed to what girls should do. I say let children develop their own creative selfs with as little adult interference as is practicable.
People are born with a sin nature, so I agree, some people are born gay. Some people are born liars. Some people are born crimminals. Some people are born drug addicts. Some people are born rapists. Some people are born pedophiles. But. hey, let’s have an open mind and not discourage any of that. Because we are born that way.
A parent is supposed to set limits and paramaters for their child so as to protect them and teach them how to act in socially acceptable ways.
Any parent that allows a 5-year-old to dress is a costume that will guarantee them to be subject to ridicule is not doing their job of parenting and protecting their child. I’m not defending the people that will ridicule or attack him, but it’s going to happen.
Dressing like a girl doesn’t make a boy gay, but it does make him a cross-dresser, and that is considered abnormal in our society.
When he is a teenager and has questions about his sexuality, then you can decide whether to support him or work to change him. But at 5, he has no idea what his sexuality will be or what the future holds. But the present holds ridicule and possible harm — things that no loving parent should EVER allow to happen to a 5-year-old child!!!!!
almost all of you have mentioned that it’s ok for the mom to allow as long as she warns her son that he’ll get ridiculed. i think that the fact that none of you that said that mentioned that the other mom’s should make sure that their kids know it’s not ok to ridicule is very telling.
I said that it is thought that Homosexuality genes could have a trigger mechanism in it’s code, much like the DNA of the microorganism responsible for the Bubonic Plague. That being a possibility is only one school of thought, one I’d love to see explored if the gay community wouldn’t call it an attempt to “fix them”.
As for religion, I simply believe that because Evil is present in the world the existence of an all powerful, all knowing, all loving being is illogical and at war with itself therefore cannot exist as ONE being. I have other ideas as to how the Christian God can actually exist, but I feel they are irrelevant for the matter at hand. I just think the “God says it’s bad” argument against homosexuality shows poor logic, and assumes everyone worships and cares about the same being, and in addition to that sees the scripture (which was written by man not God himself) in the same way. It’s an argument that does not follow, and has to much hypocrisy to stand up to much pressure, unless one also slays witches on sight (also in Deuteronomy), has no sex for pleasure (in Kings), and pays taxes to the Roman Caesar (in The Gospel… not sure which one anymore…). Not saying that anyone’s belief is wrong as how one communes with God is unique to the individual, I am simply saying it’s illogical. Either Jesus died for all sins and sinners to usher in a new path to Righteousness in the eyes of God or he didn’t. The dishonest, the homosexuals, the murderers, the sociopaths, the people who speed and never pay the fine, and all other wretches who accept God; or he didn’t. It isn’t for us to judge. Let all people live as He created them, if a gay person and God have a close relationship I am sure they talked about how their lover is doing too, and when they die they will join the Angels just like everyone else who believes.
Last year, my son and I went as Mario and Luigi from the Nintendo games. I was Luigi, as he’s the taller one. No one questioned why I was dressed as a man, with a stick on moustache and everything.
I think when gender roles are not brought up or shoved down kids’ throats, it’s a non-issue. My son wanted a Dora bed set. I’ll admit I didn’t let him get it because it was pink and purple. I steered him towards Spongebob instead. Am I wrong for that? Who cares? My son is just as happy with Spongebob. I didn’t tell him it was because it was a girl’s set.
Has no one heard of Milton Berle? Cross dressing used to be funny, now because of political correctness it sends a political and sexual message that we should discuss? When did we lose our sense of humor? BTW, this kid is going to kill his mother when he is at his 10th year class reunion. I mean “kill” as in the old-fashioned figurative sense, not in the modern literal sense.
My five year old son likes Tinkerbell… Do I think he is gay? No. But I do think he likes cute chicks who know how to use a hammer.
It’s Halloween. Kids who are really “in the spirit” of the holiday, WANT to dress to confuse and make people they visit wonder who they are – this kid nailed it! Secondly, my granddaughter went as Capt. Jack Sparrow. Does this mean she’s going to be gay – no. In college, I shared a house with my girlfriends & 3 other guys. One of those guys went to a Halloween party dressed as a hooker (curves & all, thanks to we girls). A truck driver tried to pick him up; he was stunning. He was also a Purdue football star back then…he’s now a college football coach, married with 5 kids.
This mom’s neighbors need to get a life, and worry about their little darlings – it’s what they do behind their controlling backs that will come back to ‘haunt’ them. I say GREAT for this mom!
Ali: Thanks for the clarification, but you are still formulating opinions while missing information. The Bible says a lot of things are wrong, not just homosexuality, like adultery and murder…and funny thing is we still think they are wrong!
As to your Bible quotes, I just love it when people quote the Bible literally and leave out Vatican I and II, not to mention both Protestant reformations and the impact of them. It really shows over reaching and a serious lack of studying. It also shows how one’s mind is made up and facts need not apply.
tabs: We all condemn the ridicule, but realize that one cannot control what comes out of the mouths of people. We can only control our reaction to it.
Yeah I condemn the behavior of the parents most especially, but just because I condemn doesn’t mean they are going to stop doing it. However, karma is a bitch. Just wait until their kids get teased…and they will get teased for something, of that I have no doubt.
Hi, Ali,
From what you’ve written, you seem like an intelligent, well-spoken individual.
I read what you write, and it seems to me that the problem you have with God is not so much a problem the idea being illogical, as much as it seems to be a problem with the idea of there being someone in authority over you.
It seems like you like to be the one who determines what is right and what is wrong. But how do people determine that? Hitler, Pol Pot, Saddam Hussein and Stalin also had ideas of what was right and wrong. Who is to say that they’re not the ones who are “truly” right?
In our current era of political correctness and postmodernism, nobody wants to hear that their own ideas of the truth might be wrong. But the truth of the matter (Ha!), is that there *is* objective truth. Objective truth is true, no matter what anybody else believes. Objective truth means there is one way that is correct, and it doesn’t matter what anybody says or believes about it. Objective truth means that if I want to be correct, I have to change my formerly-cherished beliefs to line up with what is objectively true, no matter how I feel about it.
I have studied the Bible for over 25 years now. Not only the Bible itself, but I have studied how the Bible was compiled and written, and transmitted to us. There is no other book on Earth with more manuscript evidence, and it has stood the test of time and every other test.
Please don’t take my word for it, but study these claims yourself. I have to leave for work RIGHT NOW! Or I would say more.
Have a great day, everyone!
It also says not killing for religion is wrong, which inspired the Crusades in England, which were blessed by the Vatican. We also as a society kill in times of War, criminals who commit crimes against humanity, for self defense, and most don’t think that’s wrong. The bible and society have all kinds of contradictory rules that aren’t parables. Songs of Solomon is chalked full of them, as is The Law.
Like I said, each person’s relationship with God is unique, however one cannot say that they follow the bible in it’s entirety and only follow the parts they like without being a hypocrite (which is also against Christianity according to the Book of Jude). Thus making the “God says it’s bad” argument irrelevant and illogical in a debate setting which translates to having the weaker argument. Not saying religion is bad though, Thomas Jefferson said that to have religion among the masses is good because it eliminates the need for more laws as the church does promote civic virtue beyond the law.
And if these reformations are so important and inspired why are they not part of the bible? Either the religious community doubt it’s inspiration, or the bible is outdated and irrelevant. Granted I did cherry pick some of the really obvious counter societal scriptures, but a skilled debater would do no different (a great counter argument that I gave you would have been when Jesus told the Israelites to pay their taxes and to follow the law just as if it were God’s law, even when it was Roman law). This is why I think the “God says no” argument is so under thought. Even the “the pieces don’t fit” argument is more solid in a debate. I just wish people who ARE in the “homosexuality is wrong” camp would more deeply think about why they feel that way.
I am firmly of the belief that most, if not all, homosexuals are created by life experiences, not born that way. Even still… I agree with this mom on the fact that wearing this costume will not MAKE her son gay. It’s freaking Halloween and my brother and all of his friends dressed in drag one year …. and none of them are gay!
Tabs – you’re right. The other moms should have explained that teasing and bullying are wrong.
I used to LOVE Batman and the Lone Ranger! I had all kinds of Batman stuff – action figures, sleeping bag, Dr. Dentons, etc. I was also Batman for Halloween 2 years in a row! I also LOVED (and still do) Star Wars. It was the first movie I saw in the theater. I even have a picture of me with Darth Vader when I was about 5 years old. As you can guess, I was never very “girlie” growing up. My mom would try to get me to wear dresses, or be more “preppy,” but I was more of a jeans and t-shirt kinda girl. I’m a happily married mom of 2 boys. I guess God decided raising boys would be more my thing! They also LOVE Star Wars and Batman – and I didn’t even have to try and coax them to – lucky me!! I’m of the mindset that life is what you make it. If you make it a big deal for this kid to wear a girl’s costume, it will be. I’m not sure if you are born gay, or if it’s something that, for the lack of better explanation on my part (taking Vicodin for a toothache!), the child “grows into,” be it an outside influence, or whatever. Don’t write saying I don’t get it – I do – I’m just not sure how to put it into words. I’ve read compelling arguments for both sides. As far as the Bible goes: Yes, it says homosexuality is wrong. Jesus wanted us to “be fruitful and multiply.” I also believe that the Bible was written at a time where bearing children was greatly encouraged, and also (possibly) a sign of wealth. The Bible was written by mortal men, save the quotes from Jesus Himself. I certainly do not think being gay means you are going to hell. I think God’s a little too busy with all of the other horrors in the world to worry about something so ridiculous! As far as being a parent goes, it’s our job to make sure our children are brought up to be happy, well-adjusted, productive members of society. We are to make sure their childhoods are as happy as possible, and to make sure they are taught proper morals and values to be sure they are able to be proper adults. I guess what I’m trying to say is that as a mom, I’m more worried about how my sons are doing in school, who their friends are, and how happy they are, instead of a stupid costume they choose to wear. That would be way down on my priority list as a parent. I’m more worried about whether their clothes are too small! Sorry for the long rambling post – again, Vicodin!
Is it odd that a Christian school is celebrating Halloween?
See ladies, this is exactly why I love the heck out of you. And for the record, I was born gay, and never during my childhood did I ever want to dress up as a girl. …Play with an easy bake oven yes, chop the hair off a Barbie doll, absolutely, but my childhood hobbies were more along the lines of digging holes in the back yard, setting up forts with my mom’s good linens, blowing up frogs with firecrackers and driving my sister crazy. (One thing I knew all along was that I really liked boys and that girls were silly).
I applaud this mother for being so full of WIN!, and much much much braver than me. I myself, an openly gay man would have probably convinced my kid to dress up as something else. I know what it is to walk the mall fearing that a gang of heteros may suddenly figure out my sexuality and kill me, so I would have probably opted to keep my cross-dressing boy safe in a bug costume or something, perhaps a sea horse since they can switch sexes at will. But this mother has taught me and hopefully a lot of people that while being gay is not a choice we make, being a douchebag homophobe is.
And as to LAUREL the genius who stated that there are two kinds of homosexuals, the ones born gay and the ones indoctrinated, my dear lady, you have no idea what you are talking about.
We homosexuals are way too busy trying to keep ourselves from harm from people who think like you to even think of wasting our time trying to convert any one, specially since we know for a fact that we are BORN THIS WAY.
Oh, but LAUREL, please, if you do have the address to a Gay Indoctrination Center, could you please send it to me? I think I’m running out of body glitter. Thank you!
You rock Mock!!!
Ashton… it is a fallacy to assume that because a person has a different opinion on how and when people become homosexual… conception or at some other point… that the person automatically is a homophobe who is out to cause harm to homosexuals.
Those who wish to throw hate and cause harm to other people really don’t have a specific “platform”… if it weren’t homosexuality it would be something else. People who are hatefilled and want to hurt others will always find a reason.
To equate genuine queries about a complicated situation to hate and violence is to shut down any type of dialogue. It is precisely what the Obama administration does to those who question it… “Oh, you don’t agree with Obama? You’re RAAAACCCIIIISSSTT” is not that far off from “Oh, you think there is a possibility that some people’s sexuality is affected by things that happen to them during their lifetime? Oh, you’re a homophobe! We have to protect ourselves from you!”
Thank you, Ashton, for your comments. I am glad that you were raised with such an outstanding mother!
And thank you, Elizabeth, for your comments. I couldn’t have said it better. We are supposed to treat each other with kindness and respect, even (maybe especially!) those with whom we disagree. Disagreement does not equal hatred.
Elisabeth, the fallacy here is the opposite of what you said. The fallacy is saying people are “indoctrinated” into homosexuality. Further, having that belief DOES make one homophobic because it denies the truth and reality of the situation. You (in general you, not just you) can not say homosexuality is a sin, compare it to pedophilia, make up stories of people being indoctrinated, and claim not to be a homophobe. Sorry, but having those beliefs makes you one.
You can’t have bigoted beliefs and claim not to be a bigot.
Also, any man who could be “indoctrinated” into liking another mans penis was already gay, sorry to break it to ya.
Ashton: You rock for being yourself, for standing up for who you are, and educating people who are so ignorant to the everyday struggles you have to endure just for being you.
P.S. I really hate even having to have the conversation of HOW someone became gay, because I could not care less. Who cares who they are attracted to and love for whatever reason?
Like the saying goes…
“CHILDREN ARE BUT CIVILIZED ADULTS. ADULTS ARE BUT DAMAGED CHILDREN.”
Sarah, I don’t recall saying the word indoctrinated. If you are going to address me, please actually read what I wrote.
You’re right it is impossible to have bigoted beliefs and not be a bigot. However, having a disagreement as to how certain things work, especially something as hugely complicated as the human psyche and sexuality, is not the same as being bigoted about it.
The definition of bigot according to Merriam Webster is “a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially : one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance.”
How precisely does saying, “You know, I don’t think we know it all” on a topic “obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions”…. and how does questioning something equate to treating the members of a group with hatred and intolerance? Wouldn’t that have to be proven out by the way people actually, I don’t know, treat someone?
It is absolutely possible to value someone as a human being and believe that they have the same rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness that all other people have…. and still have questions as to the intricacy of the development of the human psyche and its sexuality.
Ashton and others: If you think people can’t be indoctrinated into being gay…think again. Want addresses? EVERY SINGLE PUBLIC SCHOOL IN CALIFORNIA FROM GRAMMAR THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL! It is a fad here in this state in our schools, and yes I have seen it up close and personal. Feel free to read the in depth studies the Canadian Govt. has done on homosexuality as well.
Also, if people are all born this way, find me the gay gene. Also if people are born this way, explain how and why people switch from being homosexual to heterosexual. I personally know 6 people who went from homosexual to heterosexual.
Ashton: You are a complete coward hiding behind your homosexuality. You are also a complete dolt. Yes Mock and Daisy have a right to their opinion, but so do I. Just because you disagree with me gives you no cause to call me names. But GAME ON! Let’s see if you can take it as well as you dish it out dolt. Your ridiculousness and ignorance does nothing to improve tolerance in this country either. You want what you are quite incapable of giving, but with the ignorant like you, greed will always trump all.
“And as to LAUREL the genius who stated that there are two kinds of homosexuals, the ones born gay and the ones indoctrinated, my dear lady, you have no idea what you are talking about.” -Ashton
“You are also a complete dolt.” -Laurel
“Just because you disagree with me gives you no cause to call me names. But GAME ON! Let’s see if you can take it as well as you dish it out dolt.” -Laurel
“ignorant like you” -Laurel
So who is really the name caller, Laurel? Really great point you make! Also, good job at backing it up with hypocrisy. Looks like someone is a little oversensitive and overcompensates by insulting tenfold. Nearly every post I see of yours you are constantly insulting the intelligence of others with harsh words. Ashton is the opposite of a coward for standing up to bullies like you every single day. Oops, sorry I called you a name, I hope you don’t get into too much of a tizzy.
Sarah: Your immaturity doesn’t send me into a tizzy…but it does make me laugh!
Thanks!
I also find it interesting what you choose to whine…er comment about.
Thanks again!
Have a great day!
What about what I said was immature? Of course compared to your namecalling and “GAME ON,” it would be really hard to appear mature! Don’t you have a daughter my age? I am just happy my mother doesn’t talk to other people this way
Interested by my comments? I am just a fan of civil rights for all people.
I am having an especially a great day, hope you are too
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