Monthly Archive for December, 2009

I’m Not Sure If I’ve Mentioned This Yet…

Published by Mockarena on December 31, 2009 in You Know What I Love?. 2 Comments Tags: .

…but we are selling the most kickass calendar for 2010. :)

Ok, so maybe I have mentioned it. Once or twice. But that was before I had one of the final finished copies in my possession. And now that I do, I’m even more certain that you all need one. It is that good. And I’m not even saying that because we helped put it together. I’m actually saying it because highly talented photographers and printers put it together, and the finished product is completely awesome.

If you’re a chick, you’re going to love this because there are super seriously hot guys in it. Just look at how dreamy Mr. March is, for example:

And see, if you order one, you’ll get to read about that dreamy dude, instead of having to think, “I wonder what that dreamy dude is all about?” You will KNOW.

But even if you’re a dude, you totally need this calendar, because it’s not at all beefcake and meatmarkety.  It’s just really great pictures of some really cool dudes that you would really like to be pals with, with lots of commentary about them by us chicks.  And if you still feel oogey about buying a “hunks” calendar, then just get it for the women in your life.  I promise you – they will love it.

Look at our inside cover page:

How can you resist buying a calendar with a picture like that on it of our Governor?  How, I ask you?

Plus, don’t forget – you’re helping out the Indianapolis Tea Party when you buy one.  Or two or many. :)

So click here right now and order!  Everyone needs a 2010 calendar.  It’s a can’t-go-wrong gift.

Happy New Year’s Eve, COTR Readers!

Published by Mockarena on December 31, 2009 in General Political Mockery. 3 Comments Tags: , .

Let’s hope that 2010 is a year of prosperity – and not just for public employees, as this article suggests was true for 2009.

Have I mentioned recently that unions suck?

Nick Gillespie had an interesting take on this. He says, “Do you want to spend your life (and have your kids spend their lives) to pay ever-increasing taxes for teacher, cop, and bureaucrat retirements at early ages? Especially while you’re expected to fully fund your own? This is a social contract that needs to be redrawn ASAP.”

Thoughts?

A New Year’s Eve Message Of Wisdom From Nancy Pelosi

Published by Mockarena on December 31, 2009 in Choppy McBotox (Nancy Pelosi) and Really?. 3 Comments Tags: , , .

Now, before you get excited, it’s from a few years ago. But it’s the content which I find so breathtakingly fascinating and totally relevant to today.

Enjoy.

I’m Just Going To Go On a Limb Here And Say That Scott Brown Is, Um, HOT

Published by Daisy on December 31, 2009 in General Political Mockery. 22 Comments Tags: , , , .

You know that tagline – giving conservatism a makeover? Well, Mock and I have always talked about how the makeover is taking the old white stodgy dudes – you know, the ones with the scotch-and-soda guts – and getting some younger, hipper people into conservative politics.

Courtesy of Gateway Pundit, Scott Brown fits the younger, hipper profile – he’s a conservative/Republican who is trying to slide into Ted Kennedy’s spot in the Senate. Oh yeah, and back in 1982, he happened to be a Cosmo centerfold winner. Behold:

Apparently, he’s “experiencing a groundswell of support” in his campaign against well-known Massachusetts Attorney General, Martha Coakley.

That whole notion of giving conservatism a makeover also involves technology – you know, those things like Twitter and Facebook that the Democrats used extensively in the last round of campaigns, and that conservatives sort of fell short on. Well, get this:

“Coakley’s Twitter account (@MarthaCoakley) has 1915 followers compared to 2322 for @ScottBrownMA. Brown’s Facebook page has 8689 fans versus 6255 at Coakley’s Facebook page.”

Oh, and Mock will love this – one of his daughters was a finalist on American Idol a few years ago.

I guess time will tell and we’ll see if he gets the support and following he needs to secure a win. Regardless, he’s definitely a poster boy (pun intended) for that whole conservatism makeover.

And, just in time for December 31, 2009, Scott Brown would like to wish you a Happy New Year (you’re welcome, ladies):

Yet Another Reason Why We Should Reeaaaally Pay Attention To Who We’re Voting For

Published by Daisy on December 30, 2009 in General Political Mockery. 9 Comments

This developing story has been a little overshadowed these past few days by guys who hide explosives in their underwear, so you may not have heard it. But there’s a Senator Hiram Monserrate – a Democrat from New York – who had a bit of an scuffle with his girlfriend right before he was sworn in as Senator. Specifically, he was sentenced to a month of probation for injuring his girlfriend, Karla Giraldo, “by dragging her through his apartment lobby on Dec. 19, 2008. He could have been jailed for up to a year for misdemeanor assault. Earlier that evening, Monserrate smashed a glass into Karla Giraldo’s face, causing bloody injuries that required 40 stitches. Both testified he cut her by accident, and afterward was trying to get her to a hospital, though security camera footage showed her crying, ringing a neighbor’s doorbell and grabbing at a bannister as he dragged her out of the apartment building. ”

Sounds like a real gem of a guy. His mother must be so proud.

The judge went easy on him. “Queens Supreme Court Justice William Erlbaum gave Monserrate three years’ probation, 250 hours of community service and counseling – not the 60 days behind bars prosecutors wanted.”

But the dude is still a state Senator. Yep.

Now, there’s this NY Senate Committee who is trying to figure out his fate. Should he be booted as Senator? Or does this kind of thing really matter? You know, the whole shoving-glass-in-your-girlfriend’s-face-then-dragging-her-around-like-a-freakin’-caveman thing.

And of course, like any good little legislator, Hiram is using the Constitution as a crutch in protecting himself. When asked about censure or expulsion, his response was, “I would hate to speak for the Senate, but I think there are a lot of good arguments rooted in constitutional and state law for why they couldn’t do that.”

Nice ego, dude. I mean, with a name like Hiram, you’re bound to be pissed off through life a lot of the time. But am I the only one who thinks that being convicted of such a thing warrants a deeper look into who’s basically running the country? This whole story may be just a wee bit disgusting, but what do I know? I’m just a lowly taxpayer who allows him to take the easy way out of a crappy situation.

Welcome to the U.S. Senate, everyone.

Minnesota, No Offense, But YOU ARE INSANE.

Published by Mockarena on December 30, 2009 in Really?. 5 Comments Tags: , , .

I could almost forgive you for Jesse Ventura. But then you went and elected Al Franken. And if that weren’t enough, you’ve now completely gone off the deep end and decided that aspiring teachers need “cultural competence” testing. What in the holy hell?

It’s true. If you are a person who wants to teach K-12, and you intend to get your teaching degree from the University of Minnesota, then you should probably take a look at the report that the university’s Race, Culture, Class and Gender Task Group put together last summer.

Apparently, Minnesota thinks that the reason their minority students aren’t doing well academically is because the teachers lack cultural competence. And so that task group was charged with fixing that problem. Their resulting report suggests that race, class, and gender politics should be the “overarching framework” for all teaching classes at the university. I am not making this up. A solid academic foundation? Nah. Who needs that? What we need is a solid race/class/gender politics framework. Yeah. That’ll fix everything.

And how does a prospective teacher acquire cultural competence, you might ask? Well, according to the report, the first thing they have to do is look deeeeep within themselves to identify and then admit their own prejudices. They should question their own motives for wanting to teach, and also take a special “cultural intelligence assessment.”

All that ancillary nonsense, like arithmetic and reading and spelling – isn’t really important. It’s cultural intelligence which will help minority students do better on, say, a biology test.

In the task group’s own words, they want to ensure that: “future teachers will be able to discuss their own histories and current thinking drawing on notions of white privilege, hegemonic masculinity, heteronormativity, and internalized oppression.”

And it gets worse. As the article describes, “Future teachers must also recognize and denounce the fundamental injustices at the heart of American society, says the task group. From a historical perspective, they must ‘understand that … many groups are typically not included’ within America’s ‘celebrated cultural identity,’ and that ‘such exclusion is frequently a result of dissimilarities in power and influence.’ In particular, aspiring teachers must be able ‘to explain how institutional racism works in schools.’

Can you even believe this crap? I mean, why don’t they just gather all of the minority kids in a room, and tell them that America sucks and they have absolutely no prayer for achieving anything and that working hard is useless.

GAWD.

Wow. This Would Be Laughable If It Weren’t So Embarassing.

Published by Mockarena on December 30, 2009 in Really?. 9 Comments Tags: , , .

Dick Cheney released a statement yesterday about the foiled terrorist attack on Flight 253. It’s printed below in its entirety:

“As I’ve watched the events of the last few days it is clear once again that President Obama is trying to pretend we are not at war. He seems to think if he has a low key response to an attempt to blow up an airliner and kill hundreds of people, we won’t be at war. He seems to think if he gives terrorists the rights of Americans, lets them lawyer up and reads them their Miranda rights, we won’t be at war. He seems to think if we bring the mastermind of 9/11 to New York, give him a lawyer and trial in civilian court, we won’t be at war.

“He seems to think if he closes Guantanamo and releases the hard-core al Qaeda trained terrorists still there, we won’t be at war. He seems to think if he gets rid of the words, ‘war on terror,’ we won’t be at war. But we are at war and when President Obama pretends we aren’t, it makes us less safe. Why doesn’t he want to admit we’re at war? It doesn’t fit with the view of the world he brought with him to the Oval Office. It doesn’t fit with what seems to be the goal of his presidency – social transformation—the restructuring of American society. President Obama’s first object and his highest responsibility must be to defend us against an enemy that knows we are at war.”

Strong words, to be sure. And do you know what a “senior Democrat” said in response? “It’s telling that in attacking the president and the administration, that Vice President Cheney did not condemn the attack against our nation on Christmas Day.”

That was the response. THAT. No word yet on whether or not it was accompanied by fingers being waggled next to the ears or if the words, “neener neener” followed that statement.

Yes. I’m sure Cheney is sitting around being perfectly DELIGHTED with the attack. Are they SERIOUS with this crap?

But there’s more. The senior Democrat went on to insist that Obama DOES know we’re at war. He said, “The difference from the last administration is that we are at war with that which is tangible — al-Qaida, violent extremists, and terrorists — rather than at war with a tactic, ‘terrorism.’”

This is what their argument has been reduced to, you guys. Pure semantics. As if saying, “Oh YEAH? Well, WE are at war with terrorISTS, not terrorISM!” makes some sort of huge scaaaaary statement to the people who want to kill us all.

GAWD.

I Cringe At The Thought Of Making The Title Of This Post “Yet Another Lie.”

Published by Daisy on December 29, 2009 in General Political Mockery. 6 Comments Tags: , , , , , , , .

It’s a definite head-scratcher. I mean, the dude cannot STOP LYING.

But here’s another one for the week. Oozing in its boldfaced glory. Funny how the exact thing he smeared McCain for in the campaign is the thing he’ll ultimately pat himself on the back for.

You know, I’m not surprised by the lying at this point. I’m just surprised that all of those people who think he poops platinum haven’t given him the collective middle finger yet.

Wow.

Joy Behar Opens Her Gaping Piehole And Spews Garbage. Again.

Published by Daisy on December 29, 2009 in General Political Mockery. 6 Comments Tags: , .

Hey everyone out there who may be Sarah Palin’s “base.” Here’s a newsflash for you. You don’t read. Yeah. You’re illiterate.

You didn’t know? Well, Joy Behar says so, so it must be true.

I mean, who can actually take this woman seriously? What with the voice that’s as annoying as a cheese grater on a chalkboard, coupled with the cast of Mensa characters making up the has-been celebrity panel in this clip.

I may be hormonal, and I obviously don’t read, but I may need to punch her in the face.

That Arrogance Of Obama’s? It Isn’t New.

Published by Mockarena on December 29, 2009 in Really?. 5 Comments Tags: .

BEHOLD: Audio from the campaign, in which Obama declares that on the day of his inauguration, not only would the country look at itself differently, but so would the world. And further, you guys, he lived in a Muslim country as a kid, and his sister is half-Indonesian, so naturally that automatically makes the US safer than we ever were during the Bush administration. Obviously. You’d have to be a Nigerian radical with explosives in his underpants not to understand that.

Healthcare And Arrogance

Published by Mockarena on December 29, 2009 in Really?. 2 Comments Tags: , , , , .

Thomas Sowell’s latest article on Obama’s arrogance is really awesome.   In it, he describes the only real reason for Congress to push through its healthcare legislation with such haste – which is simply so Obama can say, “YAY ME!” when it’s all said and done.

Obama laid out all of these totally arbitrary timelines to get this legislation completed, but the whole plan doesn’t take effect until after the 2012 election.  Oddly convenient?  Or arrogantly purposeful?  To those of us with Actual Brains, it’s pretty obvious.

As Sowell says, “The only rational explanation for such haste to pass a bill that will be slow to go into effect is to prevent the public from knowing what is in this massive legislation that even members of Congress are unlikely to have read. That is also the only reason that makes sense for postponing the time when Obamacare goes into action after the next presidential election.”

You know what I’m dreading?  I’m dreading the day that Obama signs this piece of garbage and makes his public address about it.  You know he’s going to have that look on his face where he points his chin way up in the air and gets all smug and holier-than-thou.  You know the one – it looks kinda like this:

And instead of being able to claim that he has meaningfully reformed healthcare, what he’ll really have done is completely ignore what the American public has been saying for the past several months, which is that we DON’T WANT his type of reform.

Sowell says, “In short, this is not about the public’s health. It is about Obama’s ego and his chance to impose his will and leave a legacy.”

Yeah.  That pretty much sums it up.

Another Year In Review. Only This Is A Whole Decade.

Published by Mockarena on December 29, 2009 in General Political Mockery. 0 Comments Tags: .

Yeah. We probably could have done better, as far as decades go.

H/T to Big Government.

Dave Barry’s Year In Review

Published by Mockarena on December 29, 2009 in You Know What I Love?. 3 Comments Tags: .

If you are not a fan of Dave Barry, it can only be because of two reasons: 1) you don’t know who he is or 2) you have absolutely no sense of humor.

Dave Barry is a literary comedic genius. And he has summarized the year 2009 in a fantastic Year In Review that you can read right here.

Enjoy!

Guantanamo Bay and Resort – Sign Me Up.

Published by Daisy on December 29, 2009 in General Political Mockery. 4 Comments Tags: , , , , , , , .

What does a girl have to do to get some R&R time with three square meals, and a nice warm bed to sleep in, and some art therapy? I’m curious, because I’m 9 months pregnant, working two jobs, and the holidays have downright exhausted me, you guys. Some abstract fingerpainting sounds pretty damn relaxing to me right now.

Oh wait – I’d have to become a terrorist and kill a bunch of innocent people to get myself put into Guantanamo Resort and Bay for a while to get this kind of “treatment.”

It appears that two of the four plotters of the Northwest Airlines attempted bombing were released from Guantanamo, and – I hope you all are sitting down for this one – the “art therapy rehabilitation program” they underwent didn’t work. They still want us American yahoos to die painful deaths. Well, holy crap.

In fact, “Al Qaeda claimed responsibility for the Northwest bombing in a Monday statement that vowed more attacks on Americans.”

I for one am shocked. My feelings are hurt. I mean, how can art therapy not help? You know what they should’ve done instead? Lavender therapy. I heard that usually does the trick to make a cold-blooded psychopathic wackjob do a complete 180.

But you’re right, Mr. President. That place is terrible. We should shut it down and release a bunch of those wackjobs, as it’s just awful what they have to go through there – all that paper mache exposure and the watercolors and pottery-making. It’s downright cruel.

GAWD.

The Panel Discusses Obama’s Namby Pamby Response To Iran

Published by Mockarena on December 28, 2009 in Really?. 3 Comments Tags: , , .

I have such a MAD CRUSH on Stephen Hayes, you guys. He is HOT. Especially when he’s all agitated, like he is in this video from tonight’s Special Report. And CK nails it as usual.

The bottom line is that Obama has run out of flowery words to use with Iran. They think he’s a joke, and rightly so. He’s basically said, “You’re not playing fair!” to them, and expected them to be like, “Oh – you know what? You’re right. We’re going to stop building nuclear weapons right now and stop oppressing the crap out of our people. Thanks for pointing that out.”

Barry’s self-imposed year-end deadline looms. What sort of surly puppies do you think he’s got up his sleeves come January 1?

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