Monthly Archive for March, 2009

FINALLY – A Republican With Killer Abs

Published by Daisy on March 31, 2009 in General Political Mockery. 2 Comments Tags: , , , , , , .

Our main mission here at COTR is to re-brand the conservative movement from the inside out. Aaron Schock is a good place to start. At 27 years old, he was sworn in this past January as an Illinois congressman. What’s coolest about Aaron Shock (besides his tight abs, of course) is his understanding of conservatism AND the need for re-branding in the Republican party. So, of course, this makes me automatically love him.  Here he is doing Good Morning America on March 28th:

 

Meghan McCain did a great article on him in The Daily Beast, and apparently, he’s become a popular guy in the political world. He’s being stalked by TMZ, and I think that’s a good thing in this “let’s elect a rockstar while Mommy and Daddy pay our bills!” generation. It’s nice to see someone like Mr. Schock come onto the scene, as he could very well be that next “rockstar” to be reckoned with.

So, if you haven’t heard of Congressman Aaron Schock before, you have now.

And, here’s the ab picture again for all you Chicks on the Right who just didn’t see it long enough in that video. You can thank me later.

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Chris Dodd Would Like You To Know That He’s Above All Those Executive Crooks At AIG

Published by Daisy on March 31, 2009 in Really?. 3 Comments Tags: , , , , .

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 Let’s just recap the events of this short week, shall we?  Obama fires the CEO of GM, thereby proving that we’re on the slippery slope to socialism.  And, after all the dust settles from that nightmare of a thought for the constitution and the America I know and love, Dodd McBloatedface gets to keep his job, after being the one responsible for the bonuses (um, Dodd Amendment), after pointing fingers at the people who got the bonuses, and now it turns out that he took big chunks of money from AIG during the course of this whole mess – for his campaign, of course. 

I’m shocked and dismayed. Oh yes.

Is it just me, or does something smell bad?  And to think…it’s only Tuesday.  Wow.

Look How High I Can Count!

Published by Mockarena on March 31, 2009 in Really? and You Know What I Hate?. 7 Comments Tags: , , , .

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Ok.  So maybe that’s not exactly what Tim Geithner is saying in this picture.  Maybe he’s showing us how many consitutional rights he is hoping to take away during Obama’s presidency.  Maybe he’s showing us how many thousands of dollars HE feels it’s appropriate for any person to make at any given time.

After all, he gets to call these shots now.  Scary stuff is happening, folks.

According to this, Timmy’s going to have unprecented power to determine “appropriate” compensation levels for thousands of American workers.  That’s because Barney Frank’s Financial Services Committee has just approved a plan which allows for government controls on the pay of all employees of companies who have received monies from the Government.  And it’s retroactive, which means that any pesky employment contracts already in place would pretty much be null and void.  

The idea behind this legislation is to prevent anyone from being unreasonably compensated when their company’s performance is basically terrible.  And the kicker?  Timmy gets to decide what pay is considered “unreasonable or excessive.”  PLUS, Timmy also would be charged with developing a way to evaluate the performance of any affected employees.  Isn’t that cute? Timmy’s not only in charge of everyone’ s money, but he also gets to play Human Resources Manager too!  I’m sure he’s totally qualified to do that.

In what has to be the least surprising news of all time, this whole bill was passed by  Democrats, with two lone exceptions (R- Ed Royce of CA and R- Walter Jones of NC). 

The Florida democrat  Alan Grayson, who wrote up this bill said this:  ”You should not get rich off public money, and you should not get rich off of abject failure. This bill will show which Republicans are so much on the take from the financial services industry that they’re willing to actually bless compensation that has no bearing on performance and is excessive and unreasonable.  We’ll find out who are the people who understand that the public’s money needs to be protected, and who are the people who simply want to suck up to their patrons on Wall Street.”

Unbelievable.  First the government decides that they need to throw piles of money at FAILING COMPANIES, and then they decide that it’s wrong to reward abject failure.  Yeah.  That makes all kinds of sense.  It makes about as much sense as putting this kind of financial power in the hands of a known tax cheat.  Brilliant!

These morons should have never put government money into private industry in the first place.  And if the Democrats are so worried about taxpayer money, perhaps they’ll apply these new rules to themselves as well?  I mean, as long as we’re “paying for performance” and all.   Considering they’ve been owning the House for the past few years, I’d say they’ve failed.  Does that mean we get a refund?

Hope and Change.  Gotta love it.

Kim Jong-Crazy Is About To Launch A Missile – And You Know What That Means

Published by Daisy on March 30, 2009 in General Political Mockery. 4 Comments Tags: , , , , .

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Well, here we are, folks.  Just mere days before North Korea tests our new President from a national security standpoint.  It’s the first test for Obamaprompter – who knows of how many – but Kim Jong-Nutjob is setting off what he says to be a ”launch for the peaceful purpose of sending a satellite into orbit.”

Peaceful, oh sure.  He does seem like a pretty jovial little dude and all…well, when he’s not torturing people for failing to sing really lousy songs about him at gunpoint or praising him like a false and creepy-looking Messiah. 

The United States “deployed two missile-interceptor ships from South Korea on Monday, a military spokesman said, days ahead of a North Korean rocket launch widely seen as a long-range missile test that violates U.N. sanctions.”  But my favorite part of the story?

U.S. Defense Secretary Robert Gates’ response to the whole thing:  “I would say we’re not prepared to do anything about it,” Gates said on “Fox News Sunday” when asked if the Pentagon planned to shoot down the missile.

Oh, that’s reassuring.  As some comic said about Obama the other day on one of my XM comedy channels, Obama’s national security experience is pretty much summed up by, “yeah…he played some RISK in high school.”

So, sure, I’m spewing some sarcasm here, but in all seriousness, you know what this threat means, dear readers.  It’s obviously time to break out the best left-wing defense ever:  the surly puppy.  Behold the maniacal ferociousness, and get ready, North Korea.  The current administration is not joking around with these little fluffballs of fury:

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Angie Harmon Is Probably Never Going To Work Again Now.

Published by Mockarena on March 30, 2009 in FLOTUS and General Political Mockery. 6 Comments Tags: , , , , , .

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You know, I am one of those people who get SICK AND TIRED of celebrities talking politics.  I’m firmly in the “shut-up-and-act/sing/do-whatever-it-is-you’re-normally-paid-to-do” camp.  But I was struck by this article, in which conservative Angie Harmon is quoted about Obama, and then several other liberal celebrities are quoted afterwords.  Let’s review. (The editing and bolding is mine, but you’re welcome to review the full quotes at the source.)

Angie Harmon: ”If I have anything to say against Obama it’s not because I’m a racist, it’s because I don’t like what he’s doing as President and anybody should be able to feel that way, but what I find now is that if you say anything against him you’re called a racist. I’m just not crazy about what he’s doing…we’ve got unemployment at an all-time high and that was his number one thing and that’s the thing I really don’t appreciate.  I do think McCain would have done a better job, only because I think he has more experience.”

Mandy Moore:  “The sort of criticism over the last couple of weeks is a bit unfounded, he’s been in office for barely any time and I think he inherited a lot on his plate and he’s doing a pretty remarkable job.  I think it’s cool that he went on Leno and I watched the “60 minutes” interview as well last week. The guy is just so articulate and he is so well versed in something that is so new to him and I think he has a good team around him. It sounds cliché, but he makes me feel proud to be an American.”

Debra Messing: ”He is thoughtful and considerate and he gets all the information before he speaks which I think is a wonderful quality for the ruler of the free world to have.”

Debi Mazar: “It’s not an over night process. It’s going to get worse before it gets better; we’re all kind of in the same boat now. Everybody’s broke and everybody’s struggling and he makes me feel like I know him and that I know Michelle and that they’re like us and they’re out to try to save the USA. It’s just an amazing period to watch him take on these challenges and everyday in the news to hear about AIG or possibly global currency changing, it’s incredible. He’s facing big challenges and he’s got a lot of support and I’m just praying things get better.”

For the liberals, it all comes down to the feeeeelings.  And of course, what a great speaker Obama is.  It was nice of Mandy Moore to point out that he’s well versed in something so new to him.  What with his complete lack of executive experience and all.  And I totally get Angie Harmon’s frustration about not being free to criticize Obama without immediately getting labeled.  It’s ridiculous.

Anyway, the reason I’m posting this is that I often forget that there are actually people in Hollywood who aren’t liberal wackjobs.  And so, in case you had forgotten too, this is a shout-out to Angie Harmon.  Thanks for not being a wack-job. 

You can go back to acting now. :)

THIS IS BRILLIANT

Published by Mockarena on March 30, 2009 in You Know What I Love?. 10 Comments Tags: .

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My sister sent me this letter to the editor – supposedly sent to the St Petersburg Times on Sunday.  I love it SO MUCH.

“Dear Mr. President,

Patriotic retirement:

There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force; pay them $1 million each severance with stipulations:

1) They leave their jobs. Forty million job openings – Unemployment fixed.
2) They buy NEW American cars. Forty million cars ordered – Auto Industry fixed.
3) They either buy a house or pay off their mortgage- Housing Crisis fixed.

All this and it’s still way cheaper than the 800 billion dollar “bailout”.

LOVE LOVE LOVE.

UPDATE:  Ok, clever and competent reader JayTee pointed out that the math on this doesn’t work out, since that really adds up to 40 trillion dollars, and not 40 billion dollars.   BUT, I maintain that it COULD if we adjust the severance to go to those folks who are SIXTY and older and still employed.  Even if that number is only, say, 1 million – I’d say a trillion dollars is worth completely overhauling the entire economy since it’ll have immediate and guaranteed results.  Unlike all this bailout nonsense.  :)

Mitt Romney To Obama: Umm, Yeah. I Told You This Four Months Ago.

Published by Mockarena on March 30, 2009 in General Political Mockery. 1 Comment Tags: , , .

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So today Obama has disclosed his big plan for the auto industry.  And in it he says this:

“While Chrysler and GM are very different companies with very different paths forward, both need a fresh start to implement the restructuring plans they develop. That may mean using our bankruptcy code as a mechanism to help them restructure quickly and emerge stronger.

Now, I know that when people even hear the word “bankruptcy” it can be a bit unsettling, so let me explain what I mean. What I am talking about is using our existing legal structure as a tool that, with the backing of the U.S. government, can make it easier for General Motors and Chrysler to quickly clear away old debts that are weighing them down so they can get back on their feet and onto a path to success; a tool that we can use, even as workers are staying on the job building cars that are being sold.”

So you know what’s going to happen, right?  The liberal media is going to hail Obama as the savior, the hero of the day for coming up with this grand plan.  And I would simply like to point out that Mitt Romney, (who would have made, in my opinion, an exemplary president -and plus he’s totally foxy), said all of this four months ago.

Just look here!  If the same congress who threw all of our tax money at the auto industry would have just listened to people like Mitt, who actually knows a little something about the car business, then we could have just done exactly what we’re about to do anyway, only WITHOUT throwing all the bailout money at them.  I’m not saying Obama is necessarily at fault here, because I realize that he wasn’t president when this all started happening.  But he was certainly in favor of the auto bailout, and so there is no evidence to suggest he wouldn’t have done the exact same thing.

Love Mitt. Love.

To Snort Or Not To Snort…More Drama for Dramabama

Published by Daisy on March 30, 2009 in General Political Mockery and Really?. 4 Comments Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , .

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There are these new allegations going around that Ashley Biden, Joe Biden’s 27-year old social worker daughter, was filmed snorting cocaine during a house party in Delaware.

Her identity hasn’t been confirmed, and the tape was attempted to be sold for 250K by her “friend” who also was at the party.  Allegedly, though, she talked about her Dad while complaining about how the lines of coke just weren’t big enough. Of course, we have to regard this as speculation until some real sleuthing is done, as we all know that political offspring are perfect and don’t do such things (wow, that was hard to write with a straight face).

This comes on the coattails of Hillary blaming the United States for the drug-induced violence in Mexico, of course, Ashley’s Daddy being the big “war-against-drugs” campaigner and recently tapping his “drug czar,” in addition to Obama being a self-proclaimed drug user himself:

“Pot had helped, and booze; maybe a little blow when you could afford it. Not smack, though,”  Obama wrote in Dreams from My Father.

Now, go ahead and call me a big old dork, but I don’t even know what the difference is between smack and blow.  They’re both cocaine, right?   I guess I’m ridiculously sheltered, but I was always partial to good, old-fashioned Miller Lite stolen from my Dad’s basement beer fridge in my stupid youth – so what the heck do I know?  And, I don’t know much, but isn’t cocaine expensive?  Do social workers really make enough to actually pay rent and utilities AND do coke?  Really?

It’s kind of strange when you read the comments from the news article above, and they are from people who spew things like, “Who cares?” and “Why is this news?”

Well, it sure was news when the Bush twins drank beer in college and when Palin’s daughter was crucified for getting pregnant.  It’s funny how the liberal media works that way.  It’s not news unless it’s a Bush twin or a Palin kid or a right-wing radio talk show host has a painkiller problem….then, it’s apparently newsworthy. 

We at COTR don’t want to point fingers unless the fingerpointing is warranted, so until the tape is either proven or destroyed, you decide for yourselves.  Either way, I still don’t know what the difference between smack or blow is, and I’m 10 years older than her. 

Lines of coke, people.  Daddy just hired a drug czar.  Hello drama.

Obama Administration Now Experts in Auto Industry Executive-Level Human Resources

Published by Daisy on March 30, 2009 in Really?. 2 Comments Tags: , , , , , , , .

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In my 37 years of life experience, I’ve learned that when one entity takes a handout from another entity, that first entity becomes the property of the “giving” entity. I’d like to say that charity is always from the heart, but I’d also like to say that I don’t pay almost half my salary in taxes. This giver-having-power thing is textbook, people. It’s the same reason why I try to avoid, at all costs, borrowing money from family or friends. It’s also why I don’t have much respect for trust fund babies – but more so the trust fund enablers throwing the money at them. It makes the receiver weak. As much as you’d like to think that giving sums of money is a way to help someone without strings attached, let’s face it – it usually doesn’t work that way. It instead becomes a power thing. There is a sense of authority in the generous and benevolent giver, and when that giver is the government, I believe it can become corrupt in ways that are frightening.

So, when I heard that the General Motors CEO, Rick Wagoner, was forced out as part of a “government plan,” it made me cringe a little. Don’t get me wrong – GM did the weak thing and took the money (like the absolute morons they are), but now the government is implementing their new-found power in a very obvious way.

Someone remind me again – Obama worked for years in the auto industry, right? He was a Human Resources executive, experienced in hiring high-level CEO candidates? He’s actually run a freakin’ business at one time in his career? Really? Oh no, wait. He was an overpaid lawyer who has no experience in any of this, but he’s now firing the GM CEO and he’ll hire his own. I’m sure this will all be in the interest of his fellow Americans and the auto industry and have absolutely NOTHING to do with politics (dripping in blatant sarcasm there).

Anyone remember what bankruptcy is? Yeah. I do, too, and I know that pretty much all of the airlines have claimed it and started over. WITHOUT government (pinko commie) intervention.  Just sayin…

Speaking Of Football And Ignorance…

Published by Daisy on March 28, 2009 in General Political Mockery and Really?. 12 Comments Tags: , , , , , , , , .

I’ll just preamble this with the fact that I went to University of Tennessee in Knoxville for undergraduate school.  And, for those of you who don’t know, people who love the Tennessee Volunteers usually have a bit of disdain for the Florida Gators.  It’s just what we do.  It’s one of the great college football rivalries.  So, with that being said, I not only laughed at this clip, but I also find it frightening that this woman (Corinne Brown, Democrat, FL) was actually voted into office by actual people who went and cast actual ballots for her in an actual election.  Behold….Florida’s finest. Holy. Crap.

Another Voice Of Reason

Published by Mockarena on March 28, 2009 in You Know What I Love?. 2 Comments Tags: , , , .

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Senator Judd Gregg, who turned down Obama’s offer of the role of Commerce Secretary, has been speaking out about how completely WRONG Obama is on the economy.

In the GOP weekly radio address, Gregg said, “We believe you create prosperity by having an affordable government that pursues its responsibilities without excessive costs, taxes or debt.  In the next five years, President Obama’s budget will double the national debt; in the next 10 years, it will triple the national debt. His budget assumes the deficit will average $1 trillion every year for the next 10 years and will add well over $9 trillion in new debts to our children’s backs.  He also is proposing the largest tax increase in history, much of it aimed at taxing small business people who have been, over the years, the best job creators in our economy.”

You know, it’s been really annoying to me how Obama keeps droning on and on about how he’s going to cut the deficit in half by the end of his “first” term (it’s cute how he assumes there’ll automatically be a second).  It’s completely disingenuous, considering that the Congressional Budget Office doesn’t agree with him.  Everytime he talks about cutting it in half, I kind of have this urge to punch him in the face. 

Anyway, Gregg went on to say that “Obama is very forthright in stating that he believes that by greatly expanding the spending, the taxing and the borrowing of our government, this will lead us to prosperity.”  But Gregg disagrees.  His thoughts?  Take a look:

– “It is the individual American who creates prosperity and good jobs, not the government.”

– “We believe that you create energy independence not by sticking Americans with a brand new national sales tax on everyone’s electric bill, but by expanding the production of American energy … while also conserving more.”

–”We also believe you improve everyone’s health care not by nationalizing the health care system and putting the government between you and your doctor, but by assuring that every American has access to quality health insurance and choices in health care.”

Love.

It’s Starting In Pre-School, Even!

Published by Mockarena on March 27, 2009 in Really?. 5 Comments Tags: , , , , , .

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My mom sent me this article today about the Obamafication going on at the pre-school age level. Yes – PRESCHOOL. The author tells of 5 year old children’s backpacks being adorned with Obama ’08 campaign buttons, and of Nickelodeon specials about “Celebrating President Barack Obama and Some Of His Favorite Things”   I kid you not.  I wonder if all those supporters of the Fairness Doctrine will complain (snort).

I mean SERIOUSLY.  Isn’t it enough that we constantly have to try and balance out the liberal media and the liberal college professors and even the Obamafied 8th grade textbooks?

Yes, Obama is our president.  But even with the complete orgasmic reaction to him that so many people and so many members of the media across the nation have been having, he STILL ONLY GOT 53% of the vote.  That means that nearly half of the nation’s population would probably appreciate a more balanced education for our youth. 

But don’t count on the NEA to help with that. 

No better way to close out this post than with this, right?

Mexican Drug Wars Are All My Fault. Thanks For Enlightening Me, Hillary.

Published by Daisy on March 27, 2009 in Really?. 7 Comments Tags: , , .

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Hillary went over to Mexico this week and pretty much decided that all of this drug-war stuff…all of the killing and the drug-running and weaponry-stockpiling are basically the fault of the U.S. 

“These criminals are outgunning law enforcement officials,” Clinton said of the street warfare in towns near the border that have claimed more than 6,000 lives in the past year.

“And since we know that the vast majority, 90% of that [weaponry] comes from our country, we’re going to try to stop it from getting there in the first place,” Clinton said.

In a nutshell, THEIR violence is OUR fault.  Alrighty then.  Not sure exactly where to start on that one, but I’ll try, of course, and then let people subsequently yell at me. :-)

I get that the weaponry coming from our country is a bad thing, indeed.  And, I don’t encourage shoving our heads in the sand about the problems at hand.  However, if we don’t have good border patrol and STRICT border and immigration regulations that are actually carried out and ENFORCED, then how in the heck can we keep this from happening?  You can’t be wishy-washy and lenient on border security, then expect everything to just be wonderful, and for drug czars to all hold hands and sing kum-ba-yah.  So, isn’t all this just a big fat contradiction?

More border control with more harsh, strict punishment of immigration offenders will keep us from making a FURTHER mockery of our immigration policies.  There are millions of illegal immigrants right now, in this country, living a great life and not paying taxes while I bust my butt to make sure THEY are comfortable.  So, you think I’m going to just roll over and take responsibility for them killing each other across the border?  Really?

I’m just a law-abiding chick who lives in the Midwest.  Seriously.  So, Mrs. Clinton, perhaps you can take that finger and shove it someplace where it’s actually deserved.

You Know What I, Daisy-The-No-Diva-In-Her-Blogging-Name, Hate?

Published by Daisy on March 27, 2009 in You Know What I Hate?. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , , .

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I pretty much hate most of the bloggers that have “Diva” somewhere in their name.  I mean, honestly.  Can you be more of a Paris Hilton wannabe?  When you deem yourself a Diva (and you’re not blatantly or sarcastically joking about it), you’re pretty much labeling yourself as a needy elitist.  It irritates the crap out of me and sets intelligent women back about 20 years.

You know what else I hate?  All those people who find Sarah Palin to be such a threat that they’re literally scratching the bottom of barrels to find things to charge her with. Ethics violations and such. 

Totally LAME.

Here’s one of the 10 that she’s dealt with in the past week:  “…Palin broke state ethics rules by holding national television interviews about her run for vice president from the governor’s office.”  

Here’s another: “The second ethics complaint in a week filed against Gov. Sarah Palin alleges a conflict of interest when she wore Arctic Cat logo gear during this year’s Tesoro Iron Dog snowmachine race.”

Her response to that one (which I love, by the way):
“Yes, I wore Arctic Cat snow gear at an outdoor event, because it was cold outside, and by the way, today, I am wearing clothes bearing the names of Alaska artists, and a Glennallen Panthers basketball hoodie,” Palin said in the release. “I am a walking billboard for the team’s fundraiser! Should I expect to see an ethics charge for wearing these, or the Carhartts I wear to many public events? How much will this blogger’s asinine political grandstanding cost all of us in time and money?”

This is about wearing a JACKET, people.  And, I know you all are going to have to sit down on this one, but the BLOGGER who has filed that particular “jacket complaint” is a Democrat (who happens to go by the name “Celtic Diva”).   A Democrat with Diva in her name.  Hmmm…..elitist neediness.  SO. INCREDIBLY. ORIGINAL.

Six of the other 10 complaints have already been ditched.  I guess they were too bogus for even the scumbaggiest of scumbag attorneys to run with.  Big wow on that one.

I think Sarah rocks.  And, my second proposed cage match (next to the Dick Cheney/Joe Biden one, of course) should be between Mrs. Palin and this little Dem-Diva blogger chick.  How fun would that 3 seconds be to watch, huh?  Where the heck is that kooky Don King when you need him most?

Keith Olbermann Is Opposed To Namecalling. With One Exception.

Published by Mockarena on March 26, 2009 in General Political Mockery. 2 Comments Tags: , .

It’s ok when he does it. :)

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