This Pretty Much Says It All, Folks

If you don’t want to listen to the whole video, just start listening around the one-minute mark, and you’ll hear Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick talking about how, when asked about Glenn Beck’s Restoring Honor rally, he wishes that America wasn’t a free country.

Yep. If that statement BY ITSELF doesn’t explain to all the liberals in this country WHY wackjob patriots like myself don’t like the direction in which we’re headed – why there’s a damn TEA PARTY to begin with – then they are beyond any hopeful shred of intelligence and reason.

Unfreakinbelivable.

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SHOCK

I hope you guys are sitting down, because Reuters came out with a story today that will BLOW YOUR MIND.

Apparently, employees across the country are seeing their healthcare costs go up, while at the same time getting less Actual Health Care.

CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE IT?

Three thousand employers were surveyed earlier this year and a third of them have either reduced their benefits/raised deductibles, increased the employees’ cost towards healthcare premiums, or raised premiums, or a combination of those.

Cue the entire Obama administration looking like they’re completely puzzled and bewildered, and those of us with Actual Brains looking like WE TOLD YOU SO.

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You Guys Better Vote In November. Or Chuck Norris Will Roundhouse Kick Your Assular Areas.

A clever and competent reader sent this to us this morning, and it made me giggle.

In case you didn’t know, here are five starter facts – of 100 on this particular site - about Mr. Norris:

-Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

-Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

-Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

And according to this video, you really need to register to vote, if you haven’t already. I don’t want to think about what will happen if you don’t.

Just sayin.

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Rachel McUglyShoes Is Mad Because Obama Actually Had Something NICE To Say About Bush (THE HORROR)

When I was a kid, I LOVED watching old reruns of the Three Stooges. Now? Not so much. Mainly because it reminds me of the folks in this video.

What irritated me most about it was when Olbermann actually restated a POSITIVE comment Obama had made about Bush – about how he was ALWAYS supportive of the troops and a huge supporter of the military and their families.

Rachel McUglyShoes, of course, does that sarcastic eye-roll guffaw thing she does, and looks as if she’s about to hold her breath and jump up and down because something positive – GOD FORBID – was said about Bush. Because, as we ALL know, in the end, EVERYTHING is Bush’s fault. Still. Yep. STILL.

Holy wackness.

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If You Think This Can’t Happen Here…

…you’re probably being a little naive:

This is some scary shi*t. And even more so, when you consider the sheer numbers:

Today? It’s the Ground Zero Mosque. Those who are happily tolerant of it will be wondering what in the world they were thinking in another couple of decades. It’s why I’m so happy to see states like Oklahoma adopting anti-sharia legislation and why I hope more states follow suit. Sharia Law is simply not compatible with our modern society. It’s one thing to be tolerant of private practice of religion. I’m all about that. But when a religion starts shutting down streets or trying to impose its draconian rules through our court system? Nope. Not ok.

Arm yourselves with information, you guys. It’s really the best defense.

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More Awesome Representation By The Obama Administration

They sure know how to pick ‘em, don’t they?

BEHOLD: Dolores Huerta, featured in the Labor Department’s recent advertising campaign letting undocumented workers know that they have the right to fair wages. Dolores just happens to be the honorary chairperson of the Democratic Socialists of America. And this video not only shows her DOL commercial, but also has audio from her speech to high school students telling them that “Republicans hate Latinos” and singing the praises of Hugo Chavez.

This is who the Obama administration felt would be a good representative of the DOL.

GAWD.

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Most Hilarious Spin EVER

According to this, Harry Reid’s campaign has decided on its defense of his now infamous statement a couple years ago, when he said that the Iraq war was lost.  And it’s a doozy, folks.

The campaign’s explanation is this (emphasis mine):

At the time Sen. Reid made this comment, President Bush had been pursuing a failed, stay-the-course strategy that had cost thousands of American lives and billions of taxpayer dollars. Iraq appeared to be on the verge of a sectarian civil war. He was simply pointing out what our military leaders, including Gen. Petraeus, had been saying for months: that we could not win by staying the course; the war needed to be won diplomatically, politically, and economically. Sen. Reid and his colleagues were successful in forcing President Bush to finally abandon his failed approach and refocus on political reconciliation. This is what ultimately paved the way for the Iraqi government to take greater responsibility for Iraq’s future. Sen. Reid’s comments were directed at President Bush and his following of misguided policymakers, not at the heroic troops who continue to serve our country with incredible courage.”

Yes.  The reason that the surge ultimately worked, you guys, is because Senator Harry Reid was successful in forcing Bush to change course and “pave the way” for the Iraqi government to take greater responsibility.  They’re serious about this.

So let’s all pause a moment, and give a silent prayer of thanks for the foresight and courage Harry Reid showed in proclaiming the Iraq war to be lost, shall we?

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Warning: Hate and Living In A Fantasy World May Cause Bloat

Let me just start this post by giving a direct shout-out to my dear sister. Daisy Sister – PLEASE SIT DOWN FOR THIS ONE.

You see, my sister has this sort of school girl crush on John Cusack. Sure, she’s in her forties, but she’s loved John since his days as a nerd in Sixteen Candles, his breakout role in Say Anything, and let’s just say that she’s followed him ever since. So yeah….sorry sis.

With that said, this article may destroy her just a little. After all, she’s a conservative gal like me. And, John Cusack? Um, yeeeeah. He’d like FOX News and all GOP peeps to die in some sort of satanic ritual, it seems. Because he’s sane and stuff.

Here’s one of John’s completely unhinged tweets:

“I AM FOR A SATANIC DEATH CULT CENTER AT FOX NEWS HQ AND OUTSIDE THE OFFICES ORDICK ARMEYAND NEWT GINGRICH-and all the GOP WELFARE FREAKS,” Cusack tweeted.

I mean, you can’t get more direct than that, folks. You know, other than just beating the sh*t out of some conservatives with your bare hands, that is.

The article went on to say this:

Cusack has long been outspoken about politics. He supported Barack Obama in the 2008 presidential election and has contributed to The Huffington Post, but this is the first known time he has stooped to the level of making threats.

And while the U.S. Constitution protects Cusack’s right to speak his mind, some critics say he should be more careful about what he says, since he has more than 200,000 Twitter followers.

“His provocative tweets could easily incite a rabid fan to commit violent acts against Fox News Headquarters and others he names,” said Dr. Carole Lieberman, a Beverly Hills-based psychiatrist and author of “Coping With Terrorism: Dreams Interrupted.”

Basically, what we have here is a case of hate speech. By a (self-believing) high-profile celebrity type person. Well, let me rephrase that. It’s hate speech in a NORMAL world when hateful, violent speech is treated equally. However, we don’t live in a normal world anymore. Instead, we live in a world where celebridiots spew illogical crap from their pieholes atop their big ol’ glass houses on a rainbow cloud filled with Skittles and unicorns. And if you yell hateful, despicable, violent things at conservatives (and dare I say, Christians?), then you’re some sort of intellectual hero these days (I just vomited a little in my mouth). Moreover, according to the article, celebrities have some sort of impact on the little people. Sheeple People actually LISTEN to John Cusack and give a rat’s butt what he says. Which is completely pathetic and makes me fear for humanity, but I digress.

I have to try to see it from both sides, though, right? I mean, if my career was completely over, I had really bad hair, I all of a sudden looked like a really bloated version of my former self that may or may not have smoked a pack of unfiltered Marlboros for the past 15 years, and I hadn’t made a decent movie in, well, forever (2012, anyone?), I guess I’d be sort of pissy, too. It’s a lot like Michael Moore drowning his hypocritical hate-filled psychoses in gooey baked goods. It all starts with wishing satanic death cults upon people, and then it gets REALLY ugly and turns to Twinkies, you guys.

Well, at least Mr. Cusack has THIS to forward to. Good luck with that:

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Mitch Daniels Reveals The Secret To Balancing A Budget

“You may want to write that down.”

LOVE.

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There There, Ed.

Aww. Poor Ed. Just listen to him seething with envy over Glenn Becks’ enormously successful weekend rally. He’s all, “I could totally organize a WAY BIGGER AND BETTER rally!” He does qualify that, of course, by saying it’d be union folks who’d pay to come. As if that’s a GOOD thing. Grassroots organization by regular people across the country who want to pray and celebrate together versus union thugs. That’s cute.

There were probably more people at that rally, where they had to travel to get there by bus or plane or whatever, than there are who watch Ed on TV in the comfort of their own living rooms.

But you just go riiiiiight on thinking that, Ed.

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The Most Hilarious Thing You’ll See All Week. Guaranteed.

If you’re in the mood for a nice chuckle with a side of cringe this morning, then watch this video of Alvin McAwkward Greene dancing to his own rap song. Well, trying to dance, anyway (Mock made me giggle this morning when she said that he apparently went to the same dancing school as Obama).

This video makes me think two things. One, Democrats are HILARIOUS. And two, I’m thinking about encouraging my youngest Great Dane to run for Congress. I honestly think he can win.

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Cage Match O’ The Week

In this corner: Hillary Rodham Clinton, who recently submitted a report to the United Nations Human Rights Council and listed, as an example of one of the US’s many human rights violations, Arizona’s SB1070 law.

In the other corner?  Gov. Jan Brewer, who wrote a tersely-worded letter to the Hillster in response.  You can read the awesomeness right here.

Let’s think about this.  The UN Human Rights Council includes clowns from places like China, Saudi Arabia, Cuba, and Libya, among others.  And Clinton, with full blessings from her boss I presume, decided that THESE ARE THE PEOPLE who are fit to sit in judgment of the US with respect to HUMAN RIGHTS.

How is the whole world not totally laughing at us right now?

Jan Brewer’s letter is kickass.  In it, she says, “The idea of our own American government submitting the duly enacted laws of a state of the United States to ‘review’ by the United Nations is internationalism run amok and unconstitutional.”

I would pay to see these two in a cage match.  Hillary would be on the floor, begging to just stay home and bake cookies, in about 30 seconds.

It is outrageous, despicable, and totally ABSURD that the US is calling out its own people for human rights violations to ANY council, let alone one filled with people from places which are the worst violators of human rights.

Go get ‘em, Jan.

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Liberals Are Awesome At Attempting To Rewrite History

You know how Obama and his crew spin just about every craptastic thing they’ve done in the past (almost) two years? Tonight, spinning the Iraq war as some sort of victory for HIM is inevitable. Because, as we all know, everything is all ABOUT HIM, right?

It’s that sort of attempt at spin – the rewriting of history, if you will, that fascinates me about the left. It’s as if someone pulled them aside in undergrad school and taught them some secret class on it. Just look at articles like this one and this one to give you the other side of the spin – that whole truth thing.

Hypocrisy is lovely, isn’t it?

Speaking of attempting to rewrite history, this article did a good job in irritating the crap out of me tonight. It’s about a new Ted Kennedy biography. Here’s a lovely quote about said biography:

Now, a year after Kennedy died, his lifelong biographer Burton Hersh, armed with fresh interviews with Kennedy’s mistress at the time, tells Whispers that the whole July 1969 episode should have been handled as a simple crash, leaving the senator’s legacy untainted. “It was a car accident,” he says. “Ted was a terrible driver. He never paid much attention to where he was going.”

Yep. He displayed a lot of confusion when he left Mary Jo in the car, passed several houses where he could’ve called to get help for her as she was fighting for her life upside down at the bottom of a waterway, but instead walkedback to the party and didn’t even think to report the freakin’ accident until the next day. You know, when other people sort of told him to and stuff.

In fact, a diver named John Farrarthat made this statement about Kopechne’s death in 1970:

It looked as if she were holding herself up to get a last breath of air. It was a consciously assumed position. … She didn’t drown. She died of suffocation in her own air void. It took her at least three or four hours to die. I could have had her out of that car twenty-five minutes after I got the call. But he [Ted Kennedy] didn’t call.

But yeah. That Ted was a stand-up guy, all right. It was just an accident. And you know, Mary Jo was just a girl. One that wasn’t a Kennedy, of course.

GAWD.

In the end, it all comes down to the spin, folks. Always a good thing to remember these days. Just sayin.

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Question.

Can someone please explain to me how in the holy hell anyone has the nerve to criticize Glenn Beck’s rally from this past weekend? Because I genuinely don’t get it. And after watching the rants that Beck highlights in this clip – the Chris Matthews and the Ed Schultzes and Al Sharptons – I feel even more confused. WHAT IS THE COMPLAINT?

Ed still thinks it’s about white people not accepting a black man in the White House. STILL. That is just so completely stupid. But you know what’s really stupid? All the people who are either criticizing the rally participants, or worse yet, dismissing them.

Think about it. Those hundreds of thousands took time from their lives, and traveled from all over to be at that rally. Now just imagine all the people who think like they do who COULDN’T be there but wanted to. THOSE people are the majority, you guys. That’s what this administration cannot and will not comprehend, and it’s precisely what will cause them to lose their jobs.

Personally, I think Glenn is kinda over the top on his radio show and his TV show, and he cries a lot. But I can’t understand how anyone can have anything other than respect for the people who attended his rally, and I don’t understand how anyone can legitimately criticize them. It makes absolutely no sense.

A commenter here said it was the “wrong decision” for Albert Pujols to attend the event. Well, WHY? What made it a wrong decision for ANYONE to go and be amongst these patriotic, freedom-loving people?

Do. Not. Get.

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This Post Is Two-Fold: Make Sure You Hug Your Policepeople Today, And Ronald Reagan’s Ghost Is Living Upstairs At My House

So, if you’ve been reading the past few days, you would’ve noticed that Mock has been holding down the proverbial fort for the most part, while I’ve been jet-setting to places like Iowa. And Pennsylvania.

AWESOME.

Anywho, I got back at 2 am today, and I’ve been trying to catch up on things. Of course, my life is one of those where whenever I start making plans, it seems to have a plan of its own and I just sit back and watch things unfold. Take today, for example. Six cops just left my house.

I figure instead of explaining the past hour and a half to our clever and competent readers, I’d just post Mock’s and my IM thread that basically explains it for you.

Here you go:

Daisy: are you there?
Mock: yip
Daisy: i just had six cops at my house.
Daisy: four cop cars.
Mock: WHAAAA?A
Mock: what in the world???
Daisy: yeah. I thought someone was upstairs.
Mock: are you k?
Mock: omg
Daisy: i heard a man’s voice, like on the phone kind of man’s voice.
Daisy: up in Dandelion’s room.
Daisy: so I was like, “um, yeeeeeah.”
Mock: holy crap what was it????
Daisy: I barricaded myself in my bedroom, got my Glock, put an extra round in my pants, and called Mr. Daisy. Mr. Daisy kinda got mad at me and demanded, “CALL THE COPS. THAT’S THEIR JOB.”
Mock: where were the dogs? were they going nuts?
Mock: OMG WHAT WAS IT?!??!
Daisy: so I went outside, and of course I freaked out because I saw the blinds sort of move upstairs in her room….
Daisy: nothing.
Daisy: they did a sweep of the whole house.
Mock: WHAAA?
Daisy: here’s the thing.
Daisy: my Dad bought Dandelion this book….
Daisy: it’s him – her Grandpa reciting the Night Before Christmas.
Daisy: and I thought maybe it was the book.
Daisy: because it sounded JUST like it.
Daisy: but you have to OPEN THE BOOK and turn pages for it to do that.
Mock: holy crap throw that sh*t away
Daisy: and NO ONE LIVES UPSTAIRS since Stepflower is back at school and Dandelion sleeps in our room
Mock: that’s creepy as hell
Daisy: i know. i’m totally pitching it.
Daisy: it may be burned tonight, I think.
Daisy: but I didn’t just hear it once.
Mock: so they looked absolutely everywhere?
Mock: in every possible spot?
Daisy: i heard it. Then, it stopped, then I heard it again about five minutes later. which is when I called the cops.
Mock: EVERY HAIR ON MY ARM is standing up right now
Daisy: they had their guns drawn and were screaming, “***** COUNTY POLICE….IS ANYONE IN THE HOUSE?”
Mock: i can’t take it
Daisy: guns drawn, all over my house. SIX OF THEM
Mock: holy mother of crap
Mock: and they looked under beds and in closets and everywhere, right?
Daisy: that was kinda comical, actually, considering I told dispatch I just wanted ONE DUDE WITH A GUN to come out and check my upstairs.
Daisy: they looked everywhere.
Daisy: they even went into my attic. with their guns drawn.
Mock: wow
Daisy: so yeah.
Daisy: if someone is in my house, then they hid well and they’re still here.
Mock: send tessie to do a 2nd sweep
Daisy: and I still have a gun with an extra round next to me, just in case.
Mock: omg
Daisy: I did the dog sweep!
Mock: that is OUT OF CONTROL
Daisy: i had all the dogs go all over the house with me to see if they smelled something weird.
Daisy: they’d go towards a person smell.
Mock: but you didn’t hear any shuffling or rustling around after the voice right?
Daisy: totally bizarre
Mock: it was just the creepy voice?
Daisy: i heard a rustling after the voice, yes.
Mock: OMG
Mock: I am totally freaked out
Daisy: but God only knows…it could’ve been my imagination at that point. I was SPOOKED
Mock: are your windows up there open?
Daisy: I went to the doctor right before lunch hour, and didn’t lock my back door. And I didn’t set the alarm, and I usually do.
Daisy: so when I heard the voice, I immediately thought, “holy sh*t….the dogs were in their cages…someone could have walked right in and just be hanging out upstairs”
Mock: You might have yourself a ghost
Daisy: the police totally thought I was a stupid bimbo
Daisy: you know they do
Mock: were they hot?
Daisy: you know what? I think I may have a ghost.
Daisy: OMG. like THREE of the six were totally smokin hot
Daisy: and I was all,
Mock: HA HA HA HA HA
Daisy: “well, since half your squad is here, do you guys want a cold beverage or something?”
Mock: HA HA HA HA
Daisy: two of them laughed.
Mock: omg
Daisy: the older guy didn’t think it was funny
Mock: that is SO GREAT
Mock: stupid older guy
Mock: what does he know
Daisy: i was like, “I swear I’m not mental. I heard voices, and they were NOT in my head.”
Daisy: and the dogs were mauling all of them. with love, of course.
Mock: and was the creepy book in the same spot as always?
Daisy: yes. the creepy book was CLOSED. and in the exact same spot it’s always been.
Mock: Yep. You’ve got a ghost.
Daisy: you have to open the book to a PAGE to have it talk.
Mock: Which is cool if he’s nice.
Daisy: so I’m a little spooked by it all.
Daisy: i hope it’s my Grandma.
Daisy: i mean, my Dad gave us the book. his mom being the ghost would make sense.
Mock: but a man’s voice? What’s your grams doing with a man voice?
Daisy: well, my assumption is that the ghost wouldn’t talk itself….it would open the book that dad made
Mock: you know who it is? Ronald Reagan.
Daisy: OMG. It’s TOTALLY RONALD REAGAN.
Mock: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Daisy: Yep. It’s Ronald Reagan.
Mock: It’s official. Reagan is living in the upstairs of your house.

Just so we’re all clear. There is never a dull moment at the Daisy/Mr. Daisy ranch, Ronald Reagan’s ghost is apparently living in the currently unused nursery upstairs in my house. And, policemen are awesome. And should be given hugs more than usual today.

It’s not even 2 pm. I need a drink. That is all.

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